Worst Valentine’s Day Gifts… So You’ll Feel Better About Your Stupid Candy Heart

Worst Valentine's Day Gifts

I’m a holiday person. My husband, no so much. He means well. Unlike me, he doesn’t think (and by that I mean plan obsessively) about whatever the next holiday is. So, for as long as I can remember, he’s given me flowers, a card, and candy on Valentine’s Day. I probably don’t deserve much more than that, since I tend to have some deep-seated sexist view that Valentine’s Day gifts are FOR the ladies, FROM the gents. Though I’d love some big surprise this year, in the big scheme of things, I do realize that it could be much worse.

Look. All I got you was a paper heart. (FreeDigitalPhotos.net/stock images)

I asked some of the web’s funniest mom bloggers to tell me about their worst Valentine’s Day Gifts ever. Puts it all in perspective!

An ex-boyfriend got me a very large soap/shampoo stand for my bathroom to try to organize me!! -Estelle Sobel Erasmus, Musings on Motherhood & Midlife

I had a boyfriend offer to help me stop eating carbs because it was making me fat. -Harmony Hobbs, Modern Mommy Madness

“Aren’t I gift enough?” (FreeDigitalPhotos.Net-stockimages)

On our first Valentine’s together (when I wasn’t even sure what our relationship status was) my now husband gave me comic books. Meanwhile, on that same Valentine’s Day, a nice Jewish soon-to-be-doctor (who would have made my Mom happy) asked me to go on a first date that evening and sent me a dozen roses (even though I actually told him “No” because he was a little stalkerish and there was Mr. comic book man). -Lisa Kramer, http://www.lisaakramer.com/blog/

My husband gave me a wet/dry shaver…which is ridiculous in February as I like to go full yeti all winter long. -Michelle Poston Combs, Rubber Shoes in Hell

My first Valentine’s Day with my now husband he bought me perfume….from the dollar store….and that was all. -Jaime Cole

An STD –Samara Speaks

A microwave. -Jennifer Scharf, Mom Coms

My husband gave me a wax-dipped teddy bear about 15 years ago. It stunk of nasty old candles and was sticky-that sucker gathered dust better than a Swiffer. The bear alone would have been cute but the wax-covered stuffed animal…not so much. -Vanessa Lane

An ex-boyfriend gave me a rhinestone encrusted bobby pin with a sparkly beetle bug on it. This is something I would never, ever wear. I was like what, do you know me at all?? -Pam Moore

A bouquet made of highlighters and post-its was my best Valentine’s Day gift ever, but my friends thought it was dump worthy. #nerdy -Megan Zander, Mommyish

My exfiancé got me a heating pad one year. –Victoria Fedden, Www.victoriafedden.com


  • Michelle Poston Combs

    Hahaha..these are great! Thank you for including me.

  • Vanessa van de Nes

    I got pots and pans once and he told me that they were a hint… I told him if he really wanted to give me a hint he should have gotten me cooking classes because no matter how new the pots are the chef still cooks the same way! LOL


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