Tori Spelling On Children, Confidence, & Finding Your Voice | The Breakdown with Bethany
Interviewing Tori Spelling was a dream! Tori has been a staple on our small screens for decades, so for many (me!), it feels as if we are lifelong friends with the star. But the truth is we are actually just starting to get to know the real Tori. After a stint on The Masked Singer, she revealed how much people’s preconceived notions of her had defined her. But the reality is she is so much more! We talked about Tori’s newfound confidence, how she is instilling that in her kids, and how she keeps her family on track. Take a look at the full interview below.
Bethany:
Hi, and welcome back to another episode of The Breakdown with Bethany. I’m Bethany Braun-Silva, and today I’m going to be breaking it down with someone I’ve admired and really”fan-girled” over for a really long time, and that’s Tori Spelling. Tori is a mother of five, an entrepreneur, a host, and of course, an actress. We love Tori, and I can’t wait to dive into all things motherhood and her new show. Stay tuned.
Tori Spelling Children, Confidence, & Finding Your Voice | The Breakdown with Bethany | MomCaveTV
Bethany: Well, Tori, let’s jump right in. You’ve had such a busy week between the Masked Singer and then your kids starting school yesterday. We have so much to cover, but I did want to start with The Masked Singer because I was so moved by your Instagram post, the one where you talk about how The Masked Singer brought you so much confidence. I know as a mother, especially, when we instill confidence in ourselves, it helps to instill confidence in our kids. Can you tell us a little bit about what that experience was like?
Tori Spelling On The Masked Singer And Confidence
Tori Spelling:
Singing in public, singing and singing in public, and performing in public, are huge, lifelong fears of mine. I’m raising five kids, especially two really strong females. I really wanted to lead by example. When I started my journey working with The Masked Singer, it was my biggest fear. I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I can’t do this.” Then I’m like, “Wait, no. You tell your girls that they can do anything and be anyone they want to be. You need to take on your biggest fear and do it. Bad or good. Who knows what the outcome’s going to be? You’ve got to dive in.”
Tori Spelling:
The journey doing it has been amazing because what I didn’t realize is that it’s not just singing and performing. It’s actually being behind a mask. Being in the public eye my entire life, I have always felt like I have amazing fans, but then I have people that judge me. They hear my name, see my face, see what show I was on and they judge me.
I have people that still say, “Oh, you’re only working on shows because of your dad.” I was like, “Well sadly, my dad passed 15 years ago, and I’m working every day.” It’s stuff that sticks with you. I think more than anything, it sticks with us inside.
Confident Inside A Mask
Tori Spelling:
That’s why speaking to that, being inside a mask, I could be confident. I could be anyone I wanted to be. They didn’t know it was Tori Spelling. People then might say, “Oh, it’s Tori Spelling. I’m going to judge her before she even starts.” They had no idea.
It was such a freeing feeling, I can’t even tell you. I loved it. Whenever I wear that mask, I literally stand up straighter than ever. My shoulders are back, I have so much confidence. It just stays with me.
Any time we have ebbs and flows in life, it starts to dip. I’m like, Masked Singer. Then I’m like, “Oh, right back there.”
Bethany:
Oh my gosh. As a fan and as a mom too… Oh my gosh, I loved that journey for you. I know that’s such a cliche saying, but I’m always rooting for you. I’m really glad to see that. I’m wondering because you mentioned that people hear your name and there’s sort of all these preconceived notions and judgments. What about, I know you’ve been open about your kids experiencing bullying at school. Is there anything, do they experience the same kind of thing, with being your Tori Spelling’s children?
Tori Spelling on Bullying and Back to School
Tori Spelling:
There has been a layer of that. Bullying comes in all varying degrees. It’s very subjective and individual. It’s all how it makes us feel. It can be about so many different things. I have different kids that have been bullied for different things because they’re each their own person. I have children ages five to 15. As you know, kids, it’s just that you never know what will happen. There’s always that fear that it’s like, oh gosh, you want it to work out. You want things to be good, but there’s the unknown. When it happens, you just kind of have to handle it the best you can.
Bethany:
Yeah, absolutely. Actually, this is one of the busiest times of year for moms, especially for families. I was going to say, you have a wide age range of children, five kids between the ages of five and 15. How are you managing with all the back-to-school? What are some of your tips? My kids don’t go back until September 8th. Like I said last week, I only have two, but I need all the help I can get.
Back-To-School Is Stressful
Tori Spelling:
You know what? It’s stressful for parents, whether you have one or five. It doesn’t get easier. I used to put a lot of pressure on myself, and I’m telling you, social media, as I’m sure you can relate, doesn’t make it easier. I see moms with the signs they’ve ordered, and had made. I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I didn’t do that.” I literally will be like, “Oh, where’s a sticky note?”
First day of ninth grade. Hand it to my kid, hold it up, take a picture. That’s okay. We’ll look back and be like, “Hey, it wasn’t perfect, but it was our lives and this is the memories we’ll actually make rather than having that perfect photo.“
It’s stressful. I always think, I’m not a planner, which is hard with five kids. My brain doesn’t think that way. First week of school, I try my best to get off on the right foot, and think ahead about taking my kids to the grocery store, to pick out snacks. I always say, “Hey, just when you think this kid likes that, this kid likes this,” the next school, they’re like, ‘No, no, I don’t like that anymore. I’m into this now.’ It’s like, “Okay, let’s go. Let’s veer that way.”
Bethany:
It always happens when you stocked up on whatever it is.
Prepping Helps
Tori Spelling:
Of course. I just went to Costco and got the huge box of granola bars that you loved last year, and now you don’t want them? Yeah, of course. Also prepping, cutting up vegetables, fruit, you can put that in the refrigerator days before. Trying to make the lunches the night before, not scrambling in the morning and laying out clothes. That’s my biggest thing. I have a couple of them that are like, “Mom, that’s embarrassing. I’m too old for you to lay out my clothes.” It’s like, “Listen, no one sees what goes on here,” oh, except I just told you that. Other than that …
Bethany:
I don’t think their friends will be watching.
Tori Spelling:
Everyone gets it. I’m like, especially with girls, I’m like, “Okay, let’s go through your stuff. Let’s do the fashion show now. Let’s settle on something now, and let’s just lay it out.” Tomorrow morning you’re not like, “I don’t know where my socks are, I can’t find them, I can only find one shoe. How did a pair get lost in the house?” It’s always that. Just thinking ahead, and especially going back during these times where they’ve been through so much in the last couple of years.
A Whole New Time
Now, I feel like they’re having to relearn how to socialize and do that all over again, which is so hard for them. We didn’t have to navigate this stuff when we were young. It’s a whole new time now. I put little notes. Now, am I going to stick with those notes all year? No, I don’t want to put the bar too high. I’m probably going to slack. At least the first week I try to put a little note, each kid’s different. I know one loves comedy, I’m going to put a little joke, which he’ll say like, “Oh, it’s such a mom joke.“
That’s okay. One, an inspirational quote, one, a cute drawing, because she loves art. Know your audience, and you kind of acclimate to what works for them.
Bethany:
Yeah. Actually, going back to what you said, I always love to say real is better than perfect. You are such a prime example of that because you are also very aspirational out there, but I love that you’re just so real about your motherhood journey, everything that’s going on with you.
I was actually so surprised to hear that you’re a migraine sufferer. I get them once in a blue moon, and can’t imagine having to go through all the things that we as mothers go through with a migraine on top of that. How are you managing?
Tori Spelling on Migraine Relief
Tori Spelling:
Exactly. No, I hear you. I actually started getting migraines 20 years ago. My first migraine happened on the set of 90210, and it was debilitating. I didn’t know what was happening. It was like, I missed work, and I never missed work. That journey was so hard. In the past, I just couldn’t find the right treatment, couldn’t find the right medication that worked for me. I was missing stuff. Not only missing work, but when I started to have kids, I would miss a performance at school. I could’ve in the past missed the first day of school. That’s so important that we’re present and there for them.
About two years ago I found Nurtec OTD, and this works for me. This is something that makes my migraines go away. Even you can take it at the onset or it’s preventative. If I know that, and stress is my number one trigger, it is. I know the first day of school, it’s going to be a huge trigger. I will take my medication ahead of time knowing that. It’s a dissolvable tablet, so I can always have it on me. If it happens, I have it with me. Within an hour or two, I’m going to be back. There’s not that, what we call “migraine fog,” afterward and like I have to be in bed all day. I can go back to my normal life and be on my game.
Talking About Migraines
I don’t have the side effects. The likely side effects that people could possibly have are stomach pain, nausea, and indigestion. Yeah, it’s really worked really well for me. I kind of tell everyone, it’s so individual, it works for people. Communication and talking about it, and realizing you’re not alone, we know as moms, that the biggest thing is knowing you’re not alone in situations. It just helps to hear somebody say, even you saying, “I get a migraine every once in a blue moon,” which made me feel more comfortable.
I’m like, okay, even though maybe it’s not as often as I can get them, I relate to you now even more. Right now, 40 million Americans suffer from migraines. It is something that everyone should talk about. I tell people, “Information is key.” By talking about it, you might learn about something that works for you. What works for me is Nurtec ODT. People should definitely talk to their physician and go to Nurtec.com to get more information to see if it’s the right fit for them.
Bethany:
Yeah, absolutely. I think a lot of times with moms too, we don’t want to bring attention to ourselves. We don’t want anyone to know something’s wrong, so we’ll just suffer in silence. I’m so happy that you’re bringing awareness to this topic because it might not be as serious as some, but it can be very debilitating.
Just to switch gears a little bit, Tori, you have been on our TVs for years. You were such a mainstay on television and just brings comfort to people who just love to see you. Tell us a little bit about your new show. I know it sounds really interesting, kind of like a lifestyle, like a mix of things for home and food and all that.
Tori Spelling’s New Show, At Home with Tori
Tori Spelling:
Yeah. If anyone knows me, they know it’s kind of everything I love to do wrapped up into one TV show. It’s called At Home with Tori, and I get to cook, I get to bake, DIY, and party plan, and I do it all with my kids. It’s a really fun family show. I have my friends on it. It appeals to every demo. It’s on Vizio and the first season is streaming right now. It’s just been so much fun to do.
My daughter, my 14-year-old daughter is amazing. She’s on the show a lot. She’s such a talented baker. She does a lot of the recipes with me, which has been really great for her. I’ve been public about her bullying in the past at previous schools, and how it lessened her confidence. That’s the place where she excels. Her confidence, just, oh my God, you can see it. It’s so great. When she bakes, when she cooks, when she DIYs, she crochets, and she can make anything. I see her confidence come back. I think it’s really important that we navigate that each child’s different, and what builds their confidence, and kind of go with that. This show totally does that for her.
Start And End With Confidence
Bethany:
I’ll pay you later. You totally did a full circle moment for my interview. We started with confidence. We’re ending with confidence. Tori, thank you so much. You’re a joy. I’ll be rooting for you all the way. Yeah, thank you so much. If there’s any information that you want to share where we can watch, you said Vizio, but about the medication or anything else, you can share that with us now.
Tori Spelling:
Everyone can go to Nurtec.com to get more information. N-U-R-T-E-C dot com.
Bethany:
All right, thank you so much, Tori. Have a great day. Appreciate the time.
Tori Spelling:
Thank you.
Listen to this episode with Tori Spelling as a podcast:
She was previously the Senior Editor of Big Apple Parent Magazine and has written for OK! Magazine, Hollywood Life, Mom.com, and CafeMom. She is a graduate of New York University, but her proudest accomplishment is being a mom to Elias and Jake who make life (and work) endlessly fun!
- Tori Spelling On Children, Confidence, & Finding Your Voice | The Breakdown with Bethany - October 3, 2022
- Joy Bauer | Creating Healthy Habits in the Kitchen | The Breakdown With Bethany - September 9, 2022
- Cobie Smulders | Staying Positive and Building Resilience in Kids | The Breakdown With Bethany - August 26, 2022