Telestrations After Dark with Joey Fortman | MOM GAMES Sponsored by Piper Lou
This post & video are sponsored by Piper Lou and contain some affiliate links. The game we play is Telestrations After Dark.
If you haven’t “met” Joey Fortman, from Reality Moms, you’re in for a night of hilarity! Jen, Dina Drew and Joey play the adult game, “Telestrations After Dark” and show off their artistic skills – or not! MOM GAMES is our weekly live series where YOU can participate. Watch for it live on Facebook and Instagram and laugh your own butt off at the video below.
Telestrations After Dark | MOM GAMES Sponsored by Piper Lou with Joey Fortman
Piper Lou Merch
Jen: I’m Jen from MomCave, this is Dina from MomCave with Joey from Reality Moms and we finally made it on Facebook!
Welcome to MOM GAMES. This is the live, interactive broadcast game show-ish thing, where funny moms play games, and you get to play along. Tonight we’re playing Telestrations After Dark. And if you play along with us in the comments, you get to win cool merch from Piper Lou. Dina, would you show off your Piper Lou merch while I go do all the sharing on all the places?
Dina: We’re sponsored by Piper Lou. They make really cool stuff for moms including this sweatshirt, “Ain’t no hood like the motherhood.” They make cool T-shirts, sweatshirts, they make tons of mom merch. Mugs, cups, you can get them personalized.
Joey Fortman: Sorry.
Jen: Show ’em your mugs.
Dina: “Mama bear.” Mama bear. What’s the matter, Joey? Am I funny?
Joey Fortman: I’m sitting here going. I’m like, “What, what am I doing?” This Insta thing, it’s really hard to figure out.
Jen: We’ll figure that out in a second. We’re just getting the Facebook live going.
Yeah, my mug tonight says “Welcome to the Shit Show.” The theme tonight is “Welcome to the Shit Show.” And we’re gonna play a really fun game, that is actually a kind of a naughty game.
Joey Fortman: Oh.
Jen: Yeah. You can play along in the comments, and then you could win something from Piper Lou. Christine Lempen has a Piper Lou shirt. Christine, would you put it in the comments? Can you take a picture of your shirt? I would love that.
Joey Fortman: Cute. Ooh.
Joey Fortman: Is this really happening?
Joey Fortman and The Moms
Jen: It is happening. It is so happening. Sponsored by Piper Lou, where you get to play games with us and win cool stuff. Our guest this week is the one and the only Joey Fortman. Joey is the founder of Reality Moms if you don’t already know. One of our favorite places, we’ve done lots of partnerships with Reality Moms. And she is also like, an actual radio personality, DJ superstar at 965 KOIT in San Francisco.
Joey Fortman: K-O-I-T.
Jen: Does it have a jingle?
Joey Fortman: “Today’s hits, and yesterday’s favorites while you work.” Oh yeah. It’s a jingle.
Jen: Oh yeah.
Joey Fortman: By the way, you can listen live at koit.com. This is what I sound like. Yay, thank you for the plug.
Jen: You sound great. Thanks for being here. Okay.
Jen: So. We’re playing a game that is called Telestrations After Dark. Is anybody familiar with it? You may know the game Telestrations, Which is the BEFORE dark version. This is the after-dark version.
Joey Fortman: I’m so embarrassed.
Jen: She’s so embarrassed. This could get, this could get a little naughty. So grab your drink, whatever it may be. If it’s your tea, that’s fine. If it’s your boxed wine, that’s fine too. Because we don’t judge here on MomCave, come on Dina, and neither does Piper Lou. Okay.
Joey Fortman: What you got over there and what’s your shirt say? Did you show them?
Dina: “Ain’t no hood like a motherhood”.
Jen: Did you show them your tumbler?
The Big Mother House
Joey Fortman: In the big mother house. We’ve gotta, we have to put the big mother house logo on there too. That’s like, you know, mama bear.
Jen: I did.
Dina: Mama bear.
Joey Fortman: Did you? Now, this is the great stuff at this wonderful company you guys are working with, Piper Lou, right?
Jen: Yes, this is all from Piper Lou. Okay.
Joey Fortman: And you know, there ain’t no hood like a motherhood. Like the motherhood, we have to get like the big mother house in that.
Jen: Oh that’s a good idea. The big mother house was an awesome house that we were all in together, and we did live video. And we were together with just ourselves, no family. Just the ladies and it was awesome.
Joey Fortman: No kids.
Jen: Just the ladies, no kids. We had a lovely time.
Joey Fortman: Oh come on. How nice was it that nobody got yelled at for not putting the toilet seat down? Like, that was pretty special.
Jen: The toilet seats were down the entire time. We slept in as late as we wanted. And this was just before like, the world fell apart, right. This was just…
Dina: It was. Literally was. Right before the pandemic.
Jen: The good old days. Okay.
Joey Fortman: Cheers.
Jen: Cheers to the good old days.
Dina: I’ll drink to that.
Telestrations After Dark How-To
Jen: So let’s tell them how we play Telestrations. Okay. You all must know the game telephone, right? When like kids play this game. You say something, and then you whisper in someone’s ear, and then they whisper to the next person, and the next person. And it ultimately gets totally effed up by the time it gets to the last person, right?
There’s a dog. There’s a dog on our show.
Dina: My kids are almost… like they’re huge now. So this is my baby.
Joey Fortman: I know I hate it, I can’t stand it.
Jen: Oh my god, you and the dog. Dina loves her doggie. And that’s very funny because my kids are begging for a dog they’re not gonna get.
Joey Fortman: Oh boy. We have a dog.
Jen: Okay. We have dog problems. So we’re gonna play Telestrations, and this is how it’s gonna go. I’m gonna start out by looking at one of the cards of clues, and I’m going to make a drawing. And everybody watching along at home is going to try to guess what the drawing is, and so is Joey. And then Joey is going to tell us her guess. Are we ready?
Dina: And I have to block my eyes ’cause I’m guessing, right?
Jen: Yeah. Dina doesn’t get to look yet, ’cause she’s gonna be the second guesser. So I’m drawing, and I will have you know that I went to the University of the Arts, but NOT for art.
(Joey and Dina laughing)
Joey Fortman: Okay, hold on. Can you just, for folks that are just joining, they, they… Can you give them a little more details on how, like, while we’re playing Telestrations After Dark again? I did catch it, I promise. I’m gonna try it too. I just wanna make sure I understand so I don’t feel like a fool.
Jen: I know. Okay, let’s go. This is MOM GAMES, and we are sponsored by Piper Lou. And they’re giving away stuff.
Joey Fortman: No, I’m talking about the game.
Jen: I’m telling them. I’m going from the beginning. I’m like, giving the whole shebang.
Joey Fortman: All right, rewind.
Jen: Pause, rewind. Okay, so they’re giving away cool merch stuff for people that play this game with us online tonight. And the game that we’re playing tonight is called Telestrations After Dark. It’s a game that involves drawing, guessing, and naughtiness. And you guys get to play along with us. So I drew a card, and I got a clue. Which I’m not telling you all. And I am going to show my sketch of the clue to Joey. Now Dina, close your eyes. Don’t look, and don’t cheat. Okay, everybody and Joey. Look at my drawing, and y’all have to guess what it is. So you guess in the comments people, and Joey, you’re gonna write down the word of what you believe this drawing is. Okay?
Joey Fortman: Now from what I understand about Telestrations After Dark, there is a bit of unique perspective in these little things. Can you give us…
Jen: Naughtiness. Naughtiness.
Joey Fortman: Yes.
Jen: Bad mom-ness.
Joey Fortman: Is this a person, place, or thing?
Jen: Oh right, I have to say that. This is a thing. It is a thing.
Dina: It’s a thing, oh. Are you gonna keep showing it? You have to tell us so I have to look away.
Jen: Sorry, okay.
Joey Fortman: Oh no. You saw it, you know it.
Jen: No. Okay, Joey, write down what you think this thing is, and Dina, don’t cheat.
Dina: I’m not cheating.
Jen: I know, I’m just teasing you. All right, everybody over here on Instagram.
Joey Fortman: And it’s one word?
More To It
Jen: It is, it is one word. This thing is one word. It’s a long word. So what do you guys think it is?
AnneMarie says it’s a, she thinks it’s a hot dog. What do you?
Joey Fortman: Boy AnneMarie, that’s a really good idea.
I thought that, but then I think it’s probably more…
Jen: PG, no, NC17 is that what it’s called?
Dina: Oh, NC17, I’m sorry.
Jen: You said PG17.
Dina: Yeah, no. I meant PG13, no yeah, okay.
Joey Fortman: Oh yeah, and I gotta write down the word. Right?
Jen: It’s not G. Yes you have to write down the word of what you think it is. We have another guess online. I’m not gonna read the online guesses till we get to the end. That way it won’t influence you.
Joey Fortman: Ooh, okay. Well, the thing is, ’cause I think that there’s something more to it, so maybe, ooh.
Jen: There’s always more to it with Telestrations After Dark. You know this.
Joey Fortman: Oh gosh, I can’t write that. That’s not gonna work. (Jen and Dina laughing) So for those of you… I mean, I hear my 13-year-old coming here. And if I put this up, he’ll be like, wh… Mom? Like no.
Jen: Tell him to get out. This is a no-kids-allowed show.
Joey Fortman: Oh, the door’s locked, I’m the only one with the key. So we’re good.
Jen: Oh good. Okay.
Dina: This game’s really fun with like a lot of people. Like if you have like a girls’ night.
Jen: Yes. And you’re like a bunch of moms. All right, Joey do you have your word?
Joey Fortman: Yeah.
Jen: Her word is, dog tails?
(Joey laughing) Like, like wagging? Okay. Okay, so now Dina is gonna draw…
Joey Fortman: No, no. Tales, like stories. Like dog tales. TALES.
Jen: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to think you didn’t know how to spell tails.
Joey Fortman: No that’s okay.
Jen: I know you’re smarter than that.
Joey Fortman: I did win the second bee, no, the spelling bee in third grade. I was the second, I still am a little scarred from it. I can’t talk about it. The word was musical, and I spelled it M-U-I-C-A-L.
Dina: Okay, ready? There’s my dog tales, a dog with a book.
Jen: So, if we were playing Telestrations After Dark in person…
Joey Fortman: This is so going off on totally different things.
Jen: Yeah, we would have totally passed this book to each other, but we’re each using our own. And my first drawing was this. And the clue.
Dina: And what is it?
Jen: The clue is.
Joey Fortman: Here’s my, let me explain my… Can I please? The dog. Looked like a hot dog. AnneMarie was on with it, and then I thought, you know this is a little different because it is Telestrations After Dark, is some sort of like, tales. Like you know, the hot dog in a story, I, I, I dunno.
Jen: I would have gone with doggy style if that was my thinking.
Joey Fortman: That was what I was gonna put, but I actually erased it ’cause I thought that was my son coming in. And I didn’t wanna hold that up, and I just thought that might be inappropriate, whatever.
Jen: No, no.
Perfect. It’s fashion for dogs, that’s what I would tell him.
Joey Fortman: I’m sweating.
Jen: Doggy style is fashion for dogs. Okay, Amber guessed burger. So we got this, we got doggy tales from Joey. And Dina drew a beautiful picture of a dog with a book. And the actual clue was Wiener mobile.
Joey Fortman: Oh.
Jen: I should have put wheels on it.
Joey Fortman: Yeah. Yeah.
Jen: That would have helped, right?
Jen: We saw a Wiener mobile, Dina and I, in Chicago the time we were with you at big mother house.
Joey Fortman: Oh.
Dina: That’s right, I forgot about that.
Jen: We saw the Wiener mobile and took a picture. Okay, I think that it is now going to be Joey’s turn this time, to choose your clue. (Joey laughing) And draw.
BOGO With MOMCAVE
Joey Fortman: I hate to just tell you, I am wasting time. And if I get lost you gotta come find me. I am over on the piperloucollection.com website, and the “Oh, good sir, I do believe I have shat in my pantaloons,” I mean, where would that have come from. They’ve got to make it in…
Jen: I love it.
Joey Fortman: Adults. Put it in adults, and let’s go with this. “Ain’t no momma like the one I got.” I want one that says… Oh god, watch your language. Oh, this is good.
Jen: What is it?
Joey Fortman: “Got my mind on my mommy.” I got to get this. Give it to me adult. Come on, these are so, and I’m not even past the onesies.
Jen: I know. Piper Lou is great, and if you use our code MOMCAVE, you get unlimited buy one get one free.
Joey Fortman: Oh, that’s trouble.
Jen: And I can actually send to the comments, some of the cool stuff. This, I have this tank top I’m sending to the comments, says…
Joey Fortman: Oh I have to get a namaste bitches shirt made with them. I’ve got them…
Jen: “Namaste, bitches” is great.
Joey Fortman: I want it so bad. And I want it to be like this.
Jen: Ooh. That’s funny. That would be good.
Joey Fortman: Ommmmm.
Jen: Maybe they should hire you to make that design for them. Okay.
Joey Fortman: My mother would be extremely disappointed in my behavior.
Jen: I’m pretty sure my mother is extremely disappointed in this if she’s watching. So sorry mom. But this is how your daughter is rollin’.
Joey Fortman: I’ll drink to that.
Jen: Working from home during COVID in my basement studio.
Joey Fortman: Happy water.
Jen: So. Okay, so we had two guesses on that last clue from our comments online. You guys gotta step up and try to guess this next one. Joey, look at your card…
Joey Fortman: Wiener mobile?
Jen: Yeah, don’t show your card to us, Joey. Just look at your card, and make a drawing. There’s a dog barking.
♪ Who let the dogs out ♪
Tip of the… Telestrations style
Ha, she’s got one. Okay, she’s gonna do her drawing.
Dina: I’m afraid.
Jen: Her Telestrations After Dark drawing. And then we’re gonna guess. And it’s gonna be definitely naughty. So everybody keep on watching because you need to guess too.
Joey Fortman: I hope my mom’s not watching.
Jen: She’s drawing. She’s doing some major artwork here. ♪ Do do do do do do do ♪ Is there a time limit? That’s Jeopardy! ♪ Do do do ♪
Joey Fortman: Oh this is really, okay fine. This is, this is good.
Jen: Okay, so who’s hiding their eyes this time? I am? Okay, I’m not looking. Dina’s gonna look at it. Show the audience and show Dina. Show me your picture baby.
Joey Fortman: You’re cheating, I see it between your fingers.
Jen: I’m really not, I swear to god. Here.
Dina: She’s not watching.
Jen: You can see all my necks right now.
Dina: I’m gonna tell Piper Lou on you. Here we go.
Jen: Tell me when it’s safe.
Dina: What the? Oh. Okay.
Jen: Okay, can I look?
Dina: Okay. (Joey laughing) No, okay. No. This is what I think it is.
Jen: Wait, can I look yet?
Dina: No. Yeah.
Jen: She just wants me to have my eyes closed for the whole broadcast. Okay so now Dina is drawing in her book from that.
Dina: No. I thought I have to…
Jen: You’re no, Dina’s writing the word.
Dina: I’m writing the word. Ready? Ready for the word?
Jen: Write what you think that is. And then. The word is, Dina wrote tip of the iceberg.
Joey Fortman: Sorry, I’m trying to. Pause, pause.
Jen: Okay, here’s my drawing. Are you ready?
Dina: Yeah. That doesn’t look like the tip of an iceberg at all.
Submarines and Tips
Jen: I tell you, I can’t freaking draw. This is my version… That looks like a submarine or something. Submarine. This is my version of tip of the iceberg. So what was the actual clue, Joey?
Joey Fortman: Just the tip.
Jen: Wow. Just… We should have known. We should have known. Oh gosh, we got a good guess though on Facebook. AnneMarie guessed climax.
Joey Fortman: Oh gosh, this is. Mom, please don’t be watching. There you go.
Jen: That is a. Joey’s mom, if you’re watching it’s all my fault.
Joey Fortman: Okay, now back to your sponsor. Piper Lou, I’ll be your radio sponsor, I can just help Piper Lou.
Jen: ‘Cause you’re trying to be the good girl, I see what you’re doing Joey Fortman.
Joey Fortman: Not slim, kinda shady. Best bitches.
Joey Fortman: See. I don’t drink… Oh my gosh. This could be dangerous right here. Tell me…
Jen: There are so many great Piper Lou things and you can go to piperlou.com and you can use the code MOMCAVE to get unlimited buy one, get one free.
The Swag We Wear
Okay, Dina, it’s your turn to get a clue here. Okay, ready?
Jen: So Dina’s gonna choose a clue from the Telestrations After Dark deck, which is the naughty version of the game Telestrations. And you guys that are just joining, if you play along in the comments, you can win so cool swag from piperlou.com. So you’re gonna have to try to guess what Dina’s drawing. Which is also what Joey’s gonna do, right?
Joey Fortman: If you see me just zone out, tell me to get off piperlou.com. I’m not kidding you, I just… The quotes, the things.
Jen: Joey’s spending all of the money that she made today at piperlou.com. They have, look. Do you notice we all have hoodies on tonight? We did not plan that. Mm-hm. Yeah. We have our Piper Lou hoodies. Mine says “Chaos Coordinator.” And Dina’s says “Ain’t no hood like motherhood.” And…
Joey Fortman: I’ll have to get a “Namaste, bitches.”
Dina: Okay, this is bad. I’m gonna warn you right now. Okay. This is, this is, this is the saddest. This is sad.
Jen: Okay, I have to guess what that is and write down a word. Mm-hm. Okay. Okay. (Jen and Dina laughing) Okay, hold on. Hold on. Okay, so now I’m going to show my word guess of what I think this is, and Joey is going to draw what I wrote down. So, this is my guess.
Dina: What does that say? It says, acorn what?
Jen: Acorn campfire hat.
Joey Fortman: Oh god. I’m not really sure I understand where this is going.
Jen: Great guess online. Amber says weed. Weed.
Dina: You got weed from that Amber. Interesting. Well, you’re close actually.
Jen: You are.
Dina: You’re close. ‘Cause weed causes them.
Joey Fortman: Weed does what?
Dina: Oh, it’s a thing, by the way.
Jen: It’s a thing. Okay. Well, I thought it was… Weed can cause it. It looked like an acorn by a campfire, wearing a hat and I stand by that. Joey, draw an acorn campfire hat. Do it.
Joey Fortman: Did you see this thing going over here? Use all your skills and powers girl. Acorn campfire hat. I’m all like, this is after dark. I mean, come on. I’m still trying to understand my role. Sorry, I’m screaming in a microphone. I’m so confused.
Jen: That’s quite all right.
Joey Fortman: Okay, acorn. Campfire. No. Acorn, campfire hat. This is terrible.
Jen: Okay, Joey’s trying to make an acorn campfire hat.
Dina: What the hell is an acorn campfire hat anyway?
Jen: I don’t know, that’s what you obviously drew, Dina Drew. I’m looking at the wrong camera, there are too many cameras here.
Dina: Wait a minute, wait a minute. But an acorn campfire hat. Is that a thing?
Joey Fortman: Now I wanna change it, ’cause it doesn’t…
Jen: It’s not a thing at all.
Dina: What is that?
Jen: I don’t know? It’s just not a thing.
Dina: Oh my god.
Jen: Oh my gosh.
Acorn Campfire Hat
Dina: Weed. Weed causes it.
Joey Fortman: Okay, I gotta start over. Hold on. I gotta, no.
Jen: No, Joey has to start over.
Dina: You’re taking too long Joey.
Joey Fortman: I’m sorry. Okay, hold on you’re taking away my creativity. Slow down. Chill.
Jen: This is not the Sistine Chapel, Joey Fortman. We’re not painting the Sistine Chapel.
Dina: Isn’t there a timer on this thing?
Jen: Yeah, but we don’t play according to the rules.
Joey Fortman: Okay hold on. Shh. Don’t. You’re messing up my creative brain. Acorn…
Dina: There’s no timer in this one.
Jen: ♪ Let her concentrate. ♪
Joey Fortman: What is it, say it one more time. Acorn…
Jen: Acorn campfire hat.
Dina: Oh god.
Jen: What I got from Dina’s drawing. If you must know.
Dina: No, not it.
Joey Fortman: Fine, whatever.
Jen: She’s like definitely, it’s gonna be wrong. Okay, there is an acorn, and a campfire, with a hat. Very lovely. Okay, now.
Dina: All right, okay.
Jen: The best guess we got on this one from the online friends is weed. Dina, what is the correct answer?
Joey Fortman: Oh boy, look at this what we’re gonna get over here.
Dina: I’m gonna write it down. I did not do this one justice. But weed definitely can cause, oh wait. Let me write it down. You can write stuff.
Joey Fortman: Unlimited buy one get one free with code MOMCAVE.
Dina: A brain fart.
Jen: A brain fart. Wait, please show me your drawing again, and explain to me how it’s a brain fart. ‘Cause I must know.
Joey Fortman: I need to see this, ’cause I have,
Dina: Wait, wait wait. So I tried drawing the brain. And I’m like, well it doesn’t look like a brain, it looks like cabbage.
Jen: No, it looks like an acorn head.
Dina: So let me put the guy’s face.
Jen: Okay good.
Dina: And then this is, this is, that’s the fart sound, and then that is the smell coming up.
The Forgotten Butt
Jen: Right. But you should have drawn a butt. You should really have drawn the fart coming out of a butt.
Dina: Ah, a fart, I forgot the butt.
Jen: Not like next to his face.
Joey Fortman: I thought. I actually thought that it was a cup of hot cocoa.
Jen: That’s just not naughty enough for this game. It’s gotta be something naughty.
Dina: I should have. I should have drawn the butt cheeks. That’s what I. A butt crack, that would have sold it.
Jen: Welcome to our shit show indeed.
Joey Fortman: Whew. I’m cooling back off.
Jen: All right. Let’s, All right. Let’s do one more.
Dina: Let’s do one more.
Jen: Okay so, who. I pick the clue this time I think?
Joey Fortman: I wanna pick a word. Yeah.
Jen: Oh, okay. Joey.
Dina: Yeah let Joey pick it.
Jen: Joey hasn’t picked one yet, sorry. Okay, your turn. So she’s gonna pick a word from Telestrations After Dark.
Joey Fortman: I got a good one.
Jen: And then who’s gonna draw this time? Dina’s gonna draw this one. Right?
Dina: Oh I am?
Jen: Yeah, you are. Okay, you guys and you gonna guess along in the comments to try to win some swag from Piper Lou, or you could just go buy things at Piper Lou because it’s awesome and we have a code for buy one, get one free unlimited. Like my “Welcome to the shit show” mug.
Jen: Okay so Joey is drawing the clue that she got. And we’re all waiting patiently because Joey takes a long time to draw.
Joey Fortman: It’s going to be Mona Lisa’d. Joey Lisa’d. It’s the Mona Lisa there. Lisa’d Joey. Ready?
Jen: All right, so I close my eyes.
Dina: Yeah, don’t… Jen close your fingers.
Jen: I swear to you. See, I’m not cheating. I do not cheat.
Dina: Ah, that’s better.
Jen: I am very moral about my game playing. Can I look?
Joey Fortman: Ready? Don’t cheat. No, no.
Dina: Yeah, she’s not cheating.
Jen: I’m not cheating.
Joey Fortman: Ready?
Jen: My friends don’t trust me.
Dina: Yeah. Wait what the. What? Okay. Oh, all right. Okay.
Jen: Can I look now?
Jen: Okay good. ‘Cause I don’t want you to think I’m cheating.
Dina: Oh, okay. So now.
Joey Fortman: I hope my mom’s not watching this.
Fun With the Audience
Jen: Okay so we’re gonna try to guess what Joey’s word is. Here’s one of our guesses from our buddies online. I’d hit that?
Joey Fortman: Do you have to pull that up?
Jen: I like it. Woohoo.
Joey Fortman: Amber it’s so nice to meet you.
Jen: Amber is, Amber is like ruling tonight. Amber’s getting all of them.
Joey Fortman: You didn’t tell me that this, because I sent the link to my mom, and it’s like, “Mom, you should join”.
Jen: Joey, don’t you know me better than that?
Joey Fortman: No I didn’t, I’m kidding. My mom’s…
Dina: Again, I’m not doing this. I’m not doing this justice but…
Jen: Okay, so wait. I forgot where we were. Am I writing a word?
Dina: Yes. You have to guess my picture.
Jen: I have to guess that picture, and write a word.
Jen: It is a baby pot? Face pot? A faceplant. A faceplant? That’s what I’m writing.
Dina: Yeah, yeah.
Jen: A face… That’s what I was trying to… That’s what I thought it was.
Dina: Faceplant. Faceplant.
Jen: Faceplant is what I wrote.
Dina: But it’s probably not what it is, ’cause I can tell by Joey’s face. That’s what she…
Jen: A face down.
Joey Fortman: Happy ending. Ending.
Dina: Oh. You should have written a book. You should have written a book with it. Okay. Happy ending.
Joey Fortman: I don’t read books.
Jen: Happy ending.
Dina: Oh, sorry. Whoa, really?
Joey Fortman: I don’t know how to read very well.
Joey Fortman: My brain isn’t very capable of these long turns. Forget it.
Jen: So I love it that “I hit that” was a joke. I hit that?
Dina: Some of these are like, douche bag? Can you imagine writing douche bag?
Jen: Douche bag. Some of these have really naughty things on them. There’s, yes douche bag is one of the clues.
Joey Fortman: I guess, yeah.
Dina: Fingered. Fingered.
Jen: Finger. Shag. That could be a drawing.
Joey Fortman: Oh my gosh. Okay, is there anything that’s kind of PG14? 17?
Jen: Nut butter. Nut butter. Like almond butter.
Dina: A pelvic thrust. (Dina laughing) It’s… A tampon, a torch.
Jen: We’re too old for this.
Dina: Okay. A pit stain.
Jen: We’re entirely too old for pelvic thrusting at this age.
I Can’t Adult Today & More
Joey Fortman: Let’s go back to Piper Lou. Here’s the collection.
Jen: Here’s the collection, and I’m gonna show you.
Joey Fortman: “I can’t adult today.”
Jen: If you use our coupon code. MOMCAVE. You will get unlimited buy one, get in free.
Joey Fortman: I’m just plugging what I do for a living.
Jen: She’s very good at this. She’s very good. Okay, let me show you. There is the “Ain’t no hood like motherhood” hoodie.
Joey Fortman: Oh cute.
Jen: There we go. Okay. So this is what I wore today. All around the house today when I was working from home.
Dina: That’s funny, I like that one.
Joey Fortman: Oh that’s cute.
Jen: I like that one.
Dina: “Thou shall not try me.”
Jen: I totally wore that one, and they still tried me. They tried and tried, and tried again.
I Need to Overthink This
Joey Fortman: You know what? I’ve never heard of this store. This is gonna be dangerous for me. So, I’m really glad that you guys had me on for this. Thank you.
Jen: Thank you for coming on for this. Everybody else, you head over to piperlou.com. Look at all the cool stuff. Use our coupon code, MOMCAVE for unlimited buy one, get one free. We do this…
Joey Fortman: I mean, here’s one part. Sorry, interrupting. “Hold on, I need to overthink this.”
Jen: Okay, overthink it. Piper Lou. What do you see?
Joey Fortman: No it just. “Hold on, I need to overthink this,” that’s the quote.
Jen: Oh, that’s what it says. Perfect.
Joey Fortman: Yeah. That’s a good one.
Jen: That saying was so perfect, that I thought that’s what you were saying. Because that is something you would say.
Joey Fortman: I know. I’m overthinking this.
Jen: So they know you. They’re in your brain.
We do this live broadcast that we call Mom Games once a week. Usually, it’s gonna be Wednesday 8 or 815. So join us. And we have a different guest every time. But this week’s guest, I just want y’all to give a good… I would say give a round of applause but it’s not that kind of a show. Give a shout-out to Joey.
Joey Fortman: Okay, hold up. Can I just… I gotta say it. “My dog and I talk shit about you.”
(Joey and Dina laughing)
Jen: That would be good for Dina.
Richards, Karens and Kens
Joey Fortman: “Caution, I have no filter.” I want the, “My dog and I talk shit about you”. I love it. Here’s one I don’t know. “Don’t be a Richard.” Who’s Richard?
Jen: I think it’s like a Karen.
Dina: That’s my husband.
Jen: Your husband is a Richard, yeah. Don’t be a Richard. Is Richard like a male Karen? I think it is.
Dina: Must be.
Joey Fortman: That’s a Ken out here.
Jen: A Ken, like a Ken doll.
Dina: A Ken.
Joey Fortman: “If my mouth doesn’t say it, my face definitely will.” “That’s a horrible idea, what time?” I always say “I’m perfectly imperfect.”
Jen: I know. And it’s not just mom-themed stuff. Like they have things for anybody. But there’s like things for nurses, teachers.
Not Just for Moms
Joey Fortman: “Hot girl summer.”
Jen: Hot girl summer is not happening for me. I know that.
Joey Fortman: It’s what it says. They have things for that kids.
Jen: They do. If you were younger and hotter than us, you would also like Piper Lou.
Joey Fortman: Oh please.
Jen: But you probably wouldn’t have as much disposable income. I lie, we don’t have any.
Joey Fortman: No, not either here.
Jen: This is getting too lame. Okay, ladies, this was fun. Everybody watching, we are going to choose somebody.
Dina: Dick is a nickname for Richard.
Jen: I just was seeing that, as I’m trying to wrap it up,
I saw this and I had to, I have to stop. Literally, my husband’s name is Richard. I need that shirt.
Joey Fortman: “I believe I have shat in my pantaloons.”
Jen: So Richard is like a name for Karen. It’s like he’s a dick. He’s a Richard, and that’s… I’m using that from now on. All right, Dina, I hope this doesn’t ruin your marriage.
Dina: If that would ruin my marriage I’m in trouble.
Jen: We love him anyway.
See Ya in the Checkout Line
Joey Fortman: I talked all over you guys. Forgive me for taking over your piperloucollection.com. I just…
Jen: Well I’m just so glad that you’re so excited about Piper Lou. And I’m sure Piper Lou is excited as well.
Joey, it’s so fun to be with you. We love talking with you. Go to realitymoms.com, no realitymoms.rocks to find out about Joey. Or you can also listen to her if you live in San Francisco, you can listen to her on the morning show, listen to 96.5.
Dina: Dude, Joey. What time do you get up in the morning?
Joey Fortman: 3:30 Pacific. Yes.
Dina: Oh my god, you poor thing.
Jen: That’s horrible. That’s horrible, Joey. Go to bed. All right.
Joey Fortman: You know, it’s okay. It’s all good. Don’t tell me, don’t remind me.
Jen: Thank you guys so, so much. And we’re gonna do this again. Oh, oh. And last thing. If anybody wants to know what game we were playing, it’s called Telestrations Upside Drawn. No, it’s not, it’s called Telestrations After Dark. There we go. And I’m showing it in the comments now, I think. Maybe. At some point. So go play that too. Okay, thank you. I’m gonna go shop on Piper Lou, and spend some of the money I don’t have.
Joey Fortman: Oh I know. Can I just tell you one, “Watch your language asshole, I’m a baby.”
Jen: Is that a onesie?
Joey Fortman: Yup.
Jen: All right. I’m going to buy that right now. Thank you, guys. Goodnight.
Joey Fortman: See you over in the check-out line.
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