Sorry Teachers! | Letter to Teachers from a Guilty Mom
Kids are going back to school soon, and I owe our up-coming teachers a preemptive apology for the children they are about to receive. So here’s my attempt to say, “Sorry, teachers!”
Dear Teachers,
School begins next week and I completely dropped the ball this summer. While I had every intention of making my child read each night, only use the computer for educational stuff and practice their multiplication tables, it did not happen. Every request fell on deaf ears and eventually, stopped altogether. You see, my kids hear the final bell for the school year and forget that they ever knew anything at all about their academic careers. Forget schedules, discipline, the desire to learn anything new – all gone.
During the first week of summer break, I had the energy to push my kids to be their best selves. This carried through for a solid two weeks before it wavered into reluctance. At around week six, I finally lost the will to even live, let alone harp on them to pick up a deck of flashcards. How is it possible to repeatedly ignore one’s request to work on their summer notebook for days on end? I’m not sure, you’d have to ask my seven-year-old. His listening ears were definitely turned off. And that turned ME off from asking for a single thing regarding learning all summer. I’m sorry teachers!
There is also a chance that my normally well-behaved children may come back to you slightly feral. Three months is like a really, really long time to keep these creatures entertained and happy. I honestly don’t know how you do it the rest of the year. Do you bribe them? Smack them with rulers? Just drink really heavily every evening when you are forced to wade through piles of homework? Whatever your secret, I want you to know how much I appreciate you. And also that I never want your job. Like, ever.
I know the last year-plus of teaching has been an absolute nightmare for you. I’d be fooling myself if I considered my at-home, somewhat supervised COVID-19 crisis learning anything close to the amount of stress you have been living with. So, if my children beg for snacks all day, I will happily provide Goldfish crackers and other items that you can just throw at them and ask them to leave you alone. That strategy has been working pretty well for me for the last month or so.
Do schools have basements? If you banish them to the basement and toss them some food and a tablet, you can get at least 10 minutes of quiet time. If you’re still in survival mode from the last year of pandemic teaching, I totally understand and fully support whatever means you have to use to get through it.
Oh, one more thing: I cannot guarantee that my children will not try to urinate outdoors during recess. They have spent an exorbitant amount of time in the wilderness this summer (AKA our backyard), playing with sticks and peeing in the bushes. I am fairly certain they remember what toilets are and I’m hoping this will be an easy thing to correct. I’m sorry teachers. Again.
Please feel free to contact me to support you during this crazy transition from summer to in-person learning. I’ll be providing a Bat-Signal of sorts for the teachers when they need it. Only it will be a large wine glass in the sky. Shine that puppy bright and proud when you’re struggling. I promise to deliver. And seriously, thank you, teachers, for all you do for our children. The world is monumentally better for having you. I know there is no way our kids would succeed without your guidance, patience, and support. Which are all things I clearly lack. Tag, you’re it.
Sincerely,
Meredith, A Very Tapped-Out Mama
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