SAHM Job Performance Review…. by kids!

My Children Gave me a SAHM Job Performance Evaluation, They Certainly Did Not Fail Me.

Recently, I have found myself in my least likely job position, stay-at-home-mom. I have always loved to work and just never thought I would find myself as a full-time SAHM. As they say, though, life happens and this is my current position.

I have always thought I would fail as a SAHM for many reasons. I get easily bored, would probably spend all day watching TV or reading and forget stuff, often. I KNOW being a SAHM is a real freaking tough job and that thought always terrified me.

It turns out, I do not hate it as much as I thought I would. Actually, I kind of love it and am now terrified to go back to work. As far as my evaluation goes, let me leave that to my kids.

I found all the questions below from the Career Contessa.

Question 1. What are my three accomplishments that you are most proud of?

My oldest son says my three greatest accomplishments are graduating college, taking them to Legoland and Peter Piper Pizza. Oh man, we did not even go to the real Legoland! We went to Legoland Discovery Center. He is in for a big surprise when he realizes there is a better Legoland.

Toddler’s answer – “That’s not working.” (referring to his band-aid). Well, maybe he will answer the next one.

Question 2. When was the last time I made my boss say “wow”?

Oldest- “When you took me to Legoland.” Again, he is in for a real surprise!

Toddler – “WOW!”

Totally counting it.

Question 3. How can I be bigger, bolder, and more badass next year? (Do not worry I cleaned up the language.)

The oldest says I need to stop yelling at them. Well, you know, if you listened that would not happen, whatevs. 

Toddler: “That’s all.” Begins chasing the dog. Pillow fight ensues.

He really has a short attention span.

Question 4. What are three of my biggest strengths?

Oldest: “Your muscles, arms, legs.” I defined strengths for him, the ones that did not pertain to muscles. Him- “You are good at holding metal bars.” Clearly still does not understand.

Toddler is now playing in the sink with water. He says “I don’t know.”

Question 5. What are three areas where I’ve improved over the past year?

The oldest says I am good at keeping living room clean,  as well as their bedrooms and my room. I think he does not understand the question. I mean, I am pretty bad ass at keeping those places clean, though. I would say job well done, then!

Toddler: Still playing in the sink. “I do not know, I am just playing boats!”

Question 6. What are the three areas where I have the most room for improvement? What are some action steps I can take to improve each?

Oldest: “Cleaning, doing the dishes, playing with us.” I thought you said I was good at cleaning?!?! WTH, these kids.

Toddler: “I don’t know.” I do not think he understands these questions.

Question 7. What was a “mistake” I made this year and how can I prevent it in the future?

Oldest: “You forget to do things like turn the laundry on.” I asked him how I could fix this and he told me to write myself notes to remember. He is probably right about this one.

Toddler: “Oh, the sinks.” We have officially lost his attention to the sink boats.

Question 8. What would my ideal growth trajectory (i.e., raise, promotion, new title) be for the next year?

Oldest: “Making video games. I will play every single one you make.” Ummmm I have no clue how to go about this, but OK, bro.

Toddler: …….

Question 9. Do you see me as your mom the next two to five years? If yes, what role would I want to have by then? If no, what skills should I learn in the meantime that will help me get hired at my next job?

Oldest: “Yes, take us to restaurants, helping us put away the toys.” So, now not only do I need to improve my cleaning skills, I have to help him clean too?? What the crap? And, take him to more restaurants! Does this kid think I am made of money? At least I still get to be his mom.

Toddler: “I don’t think. Brother, you want to play boat?” At least we got a response, I guess?

Question 10. What are three things I can do outside of work that will improve my performance at work (e.g., classes, books, establishing a morning routine, blogging)?

Oldest: “Taking us to the park.”

Toddler: “I don’t think.”

As it turns out, my toddler was not very helpful in this little practice, so I will say he is satisfied. However, my older son definitely had some reviews for me! Didn’t he?! I guess I will start taking him to more restaurants and help him clean his toys. I will still probably forget about the laundry, but if I just take him to the park I am sure he will forget all about it.

Overall, it was fun to see how my children rate my Momformance. Perhaps, I will not get fired from this job.