Pregnancy Sex-What to Expect (In Bed) When You’re Expecting

Your pregnancy test comes back positive, and you’re ready to bring another human into the world. With the seed successfully planted and a lot of planning ahead of you, there’s no time or need to have pregnancy sex, right? Not necessarily. There are many benefits to having sex when you’re pregnant. Plus, nine months is a long time to go without making whoopie.

With a pregnant belly, there will be awkward positions, embarrassing mishaps, and a slew of uncomfortable moments. While there are natural and medical remedies to help ease pregnancy symptoms to avoid these situations, having a sense of humor through it all will help ensure both you and your partner have a pleasurable experience, even with a bun in the oven.

When you’re pregnant, you deserve to have pleasure and fun. Here are some common (and embarrassing) situations you may encounter when getting it on during pregnancy, and how you can address them and learn to laugh them off:

Fluctuating Libido

While every woman’s experience is different, your sex drive may fluctuate during pregnancy. Some days, you’ll want to rip your clothes off and get it on anywhere and everywhere (like this Mommyish mom, who had sex every day of her pregnancy). While other days, you won’t want to touch your partner with a ten-foot pole. Luckily, these fluctuations are completely normal and easy to address.

Your sex drive usually dips during the first trimester when you’re hindered by the ever-dreaded morning sickness. During this time, you may also get a little dry down there, which can put a damper on your sex life. On days when you’re feeling, tired, self-conscious, or simply not in the mood, don’t be ashamed. It’s okay to not want to have sex during your pregnancy!

Your libido will likely kick it into high gear during your second trimester, so take advantage of that time to explore the best pregnancy sex positions before your baby bump gets bigger. There are also ways to keep up your sex drive, even on the days when you can’t get in the mood. If you’re aching to get it on, just be sure to use lube, take things slow, and focus on your erogenous zones for a mind-blowing experience. You can also chat with your doctor about ways to get in the mood during pregnancy, such as taking prenatal vitamins, limiting your caffeine intake, and practicing pelvic floor exercises.

Fetal Movement

Picture this: Things are getting hot and heavy when, suddenly, you feel your unborn baby kicking. You look down to see your belly rippling and the tiny imprints of your baby’s hands and feet bulging out. It sounds like a scene straight out a horror movie, but according to one mother on Buzzfeed, this can (and did) happen during sex. Suddenly, you’re too haunted by the image to continue.

Many women begin to feel fetal movement after their 16th week of pregnancy. It’s your baby’s way of telling you that they’re healthy and developing. It can be a truly magical experience, but you probably won’t think so during sex.

As you near climax, your blood flow increases and your vagina may start to contract, which explains why orgasming may cause your baby to kick. An excited baby can kill the mood quickly, but feeling a kick or two might not be so bad after all. And while there’s no remedy for this one, you’ll at least have a story to laugh about later.

Morning Sickness

More than half of all pregnant women experience some degree of morning sickness. That queasy, tiring, and achy feeling you get during your first trimester can turn you off from even the thought of having sex. However, as nasty as it is, it’s shouldn’t get in the way of your sex life.

While one mom was getting it on, she dealt with the consequences of several common symptoms of pregnancy: weight gain, morning sickness, and gassiness. In her short sexual encounter, she managed to strain her man’s back, fart, and almost yak everywhere. Talk about an (im)perfect storm!

The good news is that morning sickness typically tapers during the second trimester. However, if you’re too nauseous to even think about sex or terrified at the thought of barfing on your man, there are a few things you can do. First, talk to your doctor about ways you can relieve symptoms of morning sickness, such as changing your diet or taking a medication to treat nausea in pregnant women. You know your body better than anyone else, so, on the days when you’re feeling especially sick, you may just want to sit one out.

Excess Gas

Your body goes through a lot of changes during pregnancy, and excess gas is just one symptom you may encounter. Almost all healthy pregnant women experience gas, so if you let one rip, know that, while it may not be ideal, it’s also completely normal.

One mama on What to Expect accidentally broke wind while in the heat of the moment, but she didn’t let this get her down. Instead, she and her partner stopped and laid laughing for a good five minutes. She’s just one of many expectant mothers who can attest to the fact that pregnancy will bring a lot of awkward situations. But there’s no need to be embarrassed when these kinds of things happen.

Of course, you’ll probably want to avoid farting during sexy time if you can. For mamas who want to keep their gas at bay, there are simple at-home remedies you can try, such as exercising, starting a low-FODMAP diet with the guidance of your doctor, and keeping hydrated.

Pregnancy Sex Anxiety

Approximately 80% of men reported fear of hurting the baby during sex as one of the main reasons why they avoided pregnancy sex. However, this is an irrational fear that may be holding you back from having the night of your life. Contrary to popular belief, sex won’t hurt your baby. Mama’s got her pelvic barriers up, so rest assured that your partner won’t poke your baby’s eye out or even come in contact with your little one.

Out of fear of hurting her baby, one first-time expectant mother felt she was in a fragile and saintly state, so she couldn’t even bring herself to think dirty thoughts. However, thoughts won’t hurt your baby and neither will a good romp session. In fact, your baby won’t suspect a thing and may even be soothed by the rocking motion while you get it on. As a general rule of thumb, you should still protect your lady parts and avoid using excessive force. But, by all means, have your fun, too!

Even if your partner is well endowed, you can ditch those misconceptions and have peace of mind knowing your baby is well protected. If you’re still not convinced, be sure to consult your doctor about any lingering concerns you may have. Once you get over all of your fears and anxieties about having sex while pregnant, you’ll set yourself up for some quality, light-hearted one-on-one time with yourself or your partner.

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Finding out you’re pregnant is an exciting time, and it doesn’t have to dwindle in the months to follow. After childbirth, you’ll put all your time and energy into raising your baby, but with these stories and tips in mind, you can still get your fun in.

Check out some of our videos on this topic!

“Porn” for Moms
Sex After Baby Live with Celia from The Lil’ Mamas

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Jen

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo is the creator/writer/and producer of Mom Cave TV, an online network of comedy shows for moms including Slummy Mummy, Double Leche, Blabbermom, and MomCave LIVE. She's a working actress in NYC who has appeared in films, commercials, and some very off-off Broadway plays. When she’s not writing about the funny side of being a mom (for blogs like Scary Mommy and Mamalode) Jennifer can be found eating Reese’s Cups while furiously bidding on vintage clothing on eBay. She lives with her husband, Evan, bandleader of The Hot Sardines and two spirited children.