How to Keep Your House Clean With a Toddler | Guest Post from

How To Keep Your House Clean With a Toddler

Guest post by Kaitlin Krull of

clean house with toddler momcave modernize

Because this is totally realistic…via Modernize

When the toddler tornado comes whirling into your life, things are going to change. Your possessions will quickly go missing, appliances will start to break , and everything will suddenly become stickier than a frat house floor. Here are a few tips to help you keep your house as clean as possible while you ride out the storm.

Remove everything from the house. Minimalism is on trend, so the fewer things you have, the fewer things you have to break and/or clean. A liberating choice, really.

Wrap your toddler/house in bubble wrap. A potentially expensive choice, but so worth it, with the added bonus of having a built-in de-stresser. Who doesn’t love popping bubble wrap?!

Follow your kids around the house. All the time. With a garbage bag and the Dustbuster. Not like you have anything better to be doing, right?

One word: extracurriculars. The less time you and your kids spend at home, the less time they will have to mess it up. So bring on the sign-up sheets for soccer, school plays, baby yoga, and marching band. You didn’t need all that extra money, anyway.

Hire a cleaner. Wait, no. It would cost less to start your own business and become a cleaner yourself. So do nothing and wallow in your current, filthy state.

Buy only toys. lt is possible to subsist solely on takeout food eaten off tiny plastic tables using princess cutlery. After bedtime, you and the hubs can partake in a Hungry Hungry Hippos competition. Absolutely riveting.

Let your kid live with Grandma and Grandpa. There are no real downsides to this option, apart from not knowing what to do with all the time and clean surfaces you will now have.

Move. Warning: this is only a temporary solution. You will inevitably need to move again once your new place acquires the same kid stench as the last one.

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Cleanliness is clearly overrated. Besides, you can earn a bit of extra cash by being featured on Hoarders.

If you’ve tried all of these and have still failed to keep a tidy house, you may want to resort to more traditional methods of cleanliness, such as keeping cleaning lists, encouraging your kids to help tidy up their toys on a regular basis, or doing a sweep of the house after bedtime. Or you can have a vodka. The choice is yours, really, so choose wisely!

For more tips and tricks, head to

Want to see what it looked like when just for THREE HOURS MomCave’s Jen didn’t clean up after her son? Check out the video below:


Jennifer Weedon Palazzo is the creator/writer/and producer of Mom Cave TV, an online network of comedy shows for moms including Slummy Mummy, Double Leche, Blabbermom, and MomCave LIVE. She's a working actress in NYC who has appeared in films, commercials, and some very off-off Broadway plays. When she’s not writing about the funny side of being a mom (for blogs like Scary Mommy and Mamalode) Jennifer can be found eating Reese’s Cups while furiously bidding on vintage clothing on eBay. She lives with her husband, Evan, bandleader of The Hot Sardines and two spirited children.


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