Hey Mama, Your REAL Life is BETTER than Someone Else’s Instagram

There is a lot of talk about being a kid in the age of social media. But there is not a lot of discussion about being a Mama during this time. We see the perfect Pinterest worthy pictures and think to ourselves, “I wish I was THAT mom.” I am guilty of looking through social media and comparing myself or worst my daughter against images I see online. From one mama to another I am shouting…STOP. Stop comparing your real life to someone else’s Instagram.

I came across some powerful words and I wanted to share them with you. I want to remind you that YOU ARE ENOUGH. The messy, tired, real you is enough.

JEN FLINT IS THE AUTHOR OF THE FOLLOWING POST. IT APPEARED ON HER PERSONAL FACEBOOK PAGE AND IS BEING REPUBLISHED HERE WITH PERMISSION.

Yesterday while at the pool I watched a young Mama and her little daughter enter the pool area. They were dressed in very nice coordinating swimming suits. The mom, with her perfect loose curls tied up in a coordinating scarf, spent the first few minutes talking loudly on her phone to a friend while her daughter stood, waiting to get into the pool. Mom ended the phone call and proceeded to spread out pool toys and sunscreen on a matching towel.

Then after finding just the right angle and the right light, Mama pulled out her tripod and took a few selfies with her daughter. Little One asked to get in the pool. Mama said, wait and then posed her daughter in front of the pool, then going into the pool and then coming back out of the pool. Little One smiled big and said “cheese” like she’d done it a million times.

Then Mama told her she could play. Little One walked in and swam around for a couple of minutes. She called a friend on her phone and began another conversation while Little One politely and repeatedly asked, “Mama, can you come in the water with me, please?” Mama ignored her. “Mama, come play with me?” she asked four more times. She glanced over at her but never got off the phone. After 10 minutes, Mama ended her call, collected the sunscreen that was never applied, the water toys that never touched the water, and then her daughter and left the pool.

I SAT THERE THINKING ABOUT WHAT I’D WITNESSED FOR A WHILE AFTERWARD. I IMAGINED THE PHOTOS SHE TOOK WERE PERFECTLY EDITED AND POSTED TO SOCIAL MEDIA WITH A CAPTION LIKE “POOL TIME WITH MY GIRLY! #MAKINGMEMORIES”.

Somewhere another Mama is going to be at home with her children, the house a mess from their play, her hair unruly from a day of mothering and her clothes dirty with spit up or peanut butter. She’s going to be tired because she’s spent her day cooking, caring, cleaning and playing with her children. She’s going to look at that photo, and she is going to compare herself to the perfect Mama at the pool.

The Adversary is going to whisper into her ear “you aren’t good enough… You don’t look like that Mama at the pool… You don’t have money to buy expensive swimming suits like that, and you don’t have time to make memories like she is” and that young Mama is going to believe it. She’s going to feel like a failure. She’ll never know how she spent her time that day was so much better in God’s eyes and her children’s eyes than that “perfect Mama” at the pool. Ugh!!

What we see on Social Media isn’t always real. Sometimes and often it’s a complete set-up. It’s staged and filtered, and it’s counterfeit.

Sometimes we do see absolutely real photos of vacations and beautiful homes and freshly done hair, but it’s only ONE moment. It’s the very best moment out of a whole day spent much like our own. Working, cleaning, and messes…

Mamas, don’t compare yourself. You ARE enough! You are amazing, and the very best part is that you are REAL! Your dirty shirt and your messy house and your happy children are real, and they are proof that you are doing it right!

Tamikia from Behind the Mom Bun is a native Floridan turned Texas transplant. She is a Mama,
wife, and teacher turned blogger at Behind the Mom Bun where she shares
tips and tricks, easy recipes, and activities for the busy mom.

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Jen

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo is the creator/writer/and producer of Mom Cave TV, an online network of comedy shows for moms including Slummy Mummy, Double Leche, Blabbermom, and MomCave LIVE. She's a working actress in NYC who has appeared in films, commercials, and some very off-off Broadway plays. When she’s not writing about the funny side of being a mom (for blogs like Scary Mommy and Mamalode) Jennifer can be found eating Reese’s Cups while furiously bidding on vintage clothing on eBay. She lives with her husband, Evan, bandleader of The Hot Sardines and two spirited children.