Funny Poop Jokes for Kids Who Love Potty Humor
A universal truth about the world is that everyone has made poop jokes, adults and kids alike, and if they haven’t it’s because they are too young to understand why they’re funny. So, if you, like many parents, have grown out of the poop joke stage by the time your kids enter it, you might be stuck desperately trying to get them to stop giggling over potty humor.
Face it, it’s a losing battle. Instead, I offer a message of hope: you can beat them at their own game! If you can’t get your kids to stop making potty jokes, you might as well give them some good ones. Instead of shutting down the fun, make the best of the gross-out humor by one-upping your kids! Toilet humor is a normal stage of development, and some of the best keep being funny long after we stop being kids. And here’s a bonus if you’re still not sure about the merits of poop jokes: if you joining in just so happens to kill the joke, you get what you first wanted. It’s a win-win situation! So with that in mind, here is a list of our best funny poop jokes for kids.
Warning: Pants-Wettingly Funny Poop Jokes for Kids Below
Constipation is a difficult word to say. I have a hard time getting it out.
I love poop and fart jokes; they always leave people gasping for air.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? Hey! You’re a poo!
I just called the Diarrhea Hotline. The woman said, “Can you hold, please?”
Pooping on an elevator is probably the worst thing you can do. It’s just gross on so many levels.
I like toilets for two reasons. Number 1 and number 2
What do you get after farting in your wallet? Gas money.
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.
I once had a case of diarrhea. Airport security wouldn’t let it through
I got fired from my job delivering leaflets on flatulence awareness. Unfortunately, I let one rip
The best time to go to the bathroom is poo o’clock.
Do you know why bears poop in the forest instead of the bathroom? Because the smell is so unbearable.
What happens if you fall into the toilet? Well, you either stink or swim!
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita go to the bathroom now!
What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? Dung-arees.
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite jokes. But they’re a solid #2.
What do you do to get a bubble bath at night? Just have beans for dinner.
Why couldn’t the police officers find the toilet thief? Because they had nothing to go on!
Look out for ninja farts! They are silent but extremely deadly.
What do you do if you find a bear using the toilet in your bathroom? You let it finish!
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in the crack!
What is the toilet’s favorite sport? Bowl-ing!
I ran out of toilet paper, so I used newspaper instead. The Times are rough.
What did the poop say to the fart? You blow me away!
Two flies are sitting on a piece of poop. One fly farts and the other fly cries, “Hey! I’m trying to eat here!”
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee? Urine trouble.
If you ever feel like no one pays attention to you, just let out a loud fart.
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.
I asked your dad, “Do you want to hear a poop joke?” He said, “No, they always stink!” So do you know when a poop joke is acceptable? When it doesn’t stink!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? I eat mop. Smell mop who? YOU EAT YOUR POO???
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop. I guess you could say it’s a pet peeve.
Where did Tigger find Pooh? In the toilet, of course!
Why won’t the Halloween skeleton poop in a public toilet? It doesn’t have the guts.
They say love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
What do you never truly appreciate until it’s gone? Toilet paper!
Don’t take your phone into the bathroom. You’ll give away your IP address.
What did one tired piece of toilet paper say to another? “I’m feeling really wiped.”
Did you hear about the constipated composer? He didn’t finish the last movement
What happens when you make a bean and onion casserole? Tear gas.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? No? So you’re the one!
How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea? Process of Elimination.
Who says poop jokes are just for kids? We call grandparents old farts for a reason!
Did you know that when you say the word “poop,” your mouth does the same motion as your butt hole? The same is true for the phrase, “explosive diarrhea.”
When do you need to buy a new toilet bowl? When the one you have is full.
Did you hear about the golden toilet that was stolen? It hasn’t been found yet, but the owner said he’ll be relieved when it is.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.
What’s invisible and smells like carrots? A bunny fart!
Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans.
Where do cavemen poop? A neander-stall.
Doctors say four out of five people suffer from diarrhea. That means the last one likes it.
One day a man admitted to his friend, “Every morning at 8 A.M I take a poop.”
His friend answered, “Being that regular is healthy for you. Why are you so embarrassed?”
Then the first one said, “I only wake up at 9.”
The volcano exploded because it couldn’t find a lava-tory.
What did Spock find in the Enterprise’s toilet? The Captain’s Log.
You can put in the effort to buy the number one baby diapers for a newborn, but they won’t care. The baby will go number two on them, anyway.
What did one fly at the bug restaurant say to the other? “Is this stool taken?”
Why do most people not like to talk when poop is around? Because he has a bad habit of butting in.
Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? It leaked, so they had to release it early.
Testing boundaries is an important part of growing up. It’s also fun! Kids like to push boundaries. And where else is it easier to see than in poop jokes? Poop jokes and other potty humor is about transgressing the way we politely and privately ignore universal, if icky, bodily functions. Anything that embarrasses you, or them, or grandma, is going to be the funniest thing they’ve ever heard. Breaking taboo has been a staple of comedy since comedy existed, and your kids aren’t gonna stop doing it just because you beg. Besides, you don’t want to always be the party pooper.
So with these funny poop jokes to tell your kids, your house will be full of laughter–though hopefully empty of farts. Before you go, here’s one last joke to prove that potty humor is fun for adults and always has been, from the pen of William Shakespeare himself. “A man may break a word with you, sir; and words are but wind; Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind.”
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