Am I DONE Having Babies??? How do you know if you are done having kids? | with VIDEO
It’s no secret that I can’t decide if I’m done having babies. My emotions about it are all over the map. My husband would have an entire mini-van full of kids if it were up to him. But, sensitive dude that he is, he says it’s up to me. After all, I’m the one that has to carry them, birth them, breastfeed them, and be the primary caregiver of them while breastfeeding.
I’ve given it a ton of thought and there’s no obvious conclusion. I know I should decide fairly soon, given that I’m over forty. (How did that happen so soon?)
We have two children, your All-American one-boy , one-girl family. But I always imagined having more. I’ve had three pregnancies, my son and daughter were the second and third. The first was a terribly difficult pregnancy, with much anguish over the fact that our child had several birth defects. I carried him for six months and never got to meet him. My second child is now almost eight and healthy as a horse. My third pregnancy brought a placental abruption, two weeks of hospital bed rest and constant contractions, and then a premature baby girl. The doctors prepared us for the worst, but she’s a miracle of health!
So two out of three pregnancies have had issues. For that reason alone, some people think I should be totally done having babies. But I always pictured myself as the mom of at least three children. And after losing the first, I irrationally feel like I was cheated out of that third child.
Having children has been both the best and most stressful thing to ever happen to me. I have a purpose in life but am also constantly feeling like a failure at the juggling and the disciplining and being the keeper/doer/cleaner/organizer/chauffeur/referee/counselor of everything! So why add a third human to this chaos when I feel like I’m drowning as it is?
It’s difficult to put into words, but I’ll try. There are numerous, almost unlimited reasons NOT to have another baby. But the weight of all of those individual reasons can’t even touch the amazing experience of pregnancy, birth, and having another life added to the family. Therefore, it’s not like I can make a pro and cons list and then just add up the number of pros and cons!
So I made this little video, which is slightly tongue-in-cheek. I hope it gives you a chuckle. And I’d love to hear if YOU are done having babies? And how do you know if you are doing having babies?