Cobie Smulders | Staying Positive and Building Resilience in Kids | The Breakdown With Bethany

I’m so happy to be back with a brand new season of The Breakdown with Bethany. This season has been a labor of love and I got to talk to even more celebs, athletes, entrepreneurs, and experts to bring you the best information to help you live your best life. My first guest is actress Cobie Smulders (How I Met Your Mother, The Avengers) and we talk about her teaming up with the Colgate Smile Fund, how she stays positive, and she suggests building resilience in our kids. Stay tuned for more episodes of The Breakdown with Bethany coming soon!
Cobie Smulders | Staying Positive and Building Resilience in Our Kids | The Breakdown with Bethany
Cobie Smulders Talks Staying Positive and Building Resilience in Our Kids
Bethany Braun-Silva: Hi! Welcome to a brand new season of The Breakdown with Bethany. Iβm Bethany Braun-Silva, and itβs season two, and Iβm gonna be bringing you even more celebrities, experts, and entrepreneurs, all with the hope to inspire you to live your best life. Now, the first episode of season two is a big one. Iβm gonna be welcoming actress, Cobie Smulders, who has starred in hit shows like How I Met Your Mother and of course, the Marvel movie franchise. Weβre gonna be talking about staying positive and building resilience in our kids, so youβre not gonna wanna miss it and youβre not gonna wanna miss this entire season, so stay tuned. Bethany Braun-Silva: Letβs jump in and tell me about the Colgate Smile Fund and why this was a good partnership, a good fit for you to team up with.
Cobie Smulders: Well, first of all, you know good dental hygiene has always been in my life because my father was a dentist, and so, I donβt have a cavity. First of all, I donβt have a single cavity. So, toothpaste works, guys, and so thatβs one thing. But yeah, so itβs always been in my world, Iβve always had awareness of it, Iβve always known its importance. Iβve like used Colgate for like my entire adult life. So when they came to me, I was so happy to first of all just to promote their brand because itβs a brand that I use and again, like going back to just being good about dental hygiene, I love it. But then they were talking to me about the Colgate Smile Fund which is doing amazing things. Right now, theyβre getting a grant for City Year which is an organization that provides mentoring to, to schools, uh, around the country. And with a focus on socio-emotional learning. Weβve just come up with some kind of in this insane sort of pandemic life but weβre trying to find out what our new normal is and itβs just, that itβs challenging for everybody. Obviously, everybody is dealing with it in varying degrees but I think itβs just the kids have just really taken a hit. And you know, my own kids were in Zoom school and we were lucky enough to be in a Zoom school program. But itβs, you know, I think itβs time to sort of bolster not only their education in the classroom and getting them back into classrooms but also just helping them deal with whatβs happening mentally, whatβs happening emotionally. To go from being isolated to them jumping back in and trying to find new friends and keeping and nurturing relationships. Itβs sort of a skill that has to be constantly exercised. And, so yeah, I was really excited when they came to me to talk about this program. And I think that any mother who is listening, or reading, or whatever, to see if they can find, to connect with City Year and see if they can get it in their own school.
Bethany Braun-Silva:
Yeah, you know, Iβm a mom myself and dealing with, you know, pandemic learning and struggles was one thing and then I think when, itβs hard to say when we got our bearings. It feels like we never got our bearings throughout the pandemic but when we started to be able to come up for air, one of the most alarming things that I discovered or was reading about was sort of the impact of you know mental health in our kids because of the pandemic. And I know, you have a teenager so Iβm wondering, what were your concerns there? Were you, how do you address that with your own child? Is that a conversation you guys are having around mental health awareness, maybe cyberbullying, anything like that? If you could just offer a few tips or thoughts on that, itβll be great.
Cobie Smulders:
Well, yeah, I might be a youthful-looking woman but Iβm actually inside an 80-year-old woman so like we donβt do a lot of screens. Thereβs no social media – certainly, there is for me and my husband – but we donβt allow it for our children. So in terms of cyberbullying which is just like, itβs terrifying. We donβt have that happening because they donβt have access to it yet which I would highly recommend. But itβs a tricky time. I mean, The thing that I constantly do with myself is play the game of, βHey Cobie, do you remember when you were thirteen? Do you remember like how at times you just kind of felt like an insane person and chemically, you are?β Like there are so many changes happening in your body and in your brain and so I often reflect back to 13-year-old Cobie and I was, I was a monster. So also, itβd be helpful to be like βMy kids are great!β. I am not like βthey are so well-behaved and they were not doing half the stuff I was doing at their age.” I play that.
In terms of supporting them, I think itβs like, what you were kind of touching upon which is just – Itβs not over. Itβs kind of over, this pandemic. And so, I think itβs – what the pandemic has certainly brought up for me is the ability to pivot more and the ability to deal with disappointment and I think that I try to itβs not perfect, itβs an unperfected skill but lead by example. And certainly, we have bad days and good days and on the bad days I say βHey, Iβm having a bad day and Iβm sorryβ and βI shouldnβt have said thatβ or βI shouldnβt have reacted in this way and βThat wasnβt right when I did this.β So I do try to do that but I think itβs also about staying present within what is today like. Okay, today is a great day. Letβs celebrate that. Okay, today was a bad day, letβs be in that. And yeah, I think thatβs been helpful for me because anytime I try to plan or look ahead, it gets you – and ideas create in your mind of what that experience is gonna be. And so I found that if you just kind of day to day. Letβs make breakfast together, letβs go for a walk on the beach together, you know, weβre going to this camp. Whatever it is, if are just kind of able to sit and enjoy that itβs a little healthier, I find, and a little easier.
Bethany Braun-Silva:
I apologize to my kids multiple times a day. I feel like sometimesβ¦
Cobie Smulders:
I am sorry, itβs gonna be above the road, Iβm learning guys. Weβre in this together.
Bethany Braun-Silva:
I know, itβs like, I feel like Iβm, my kids are 6 and 10 and I still feel like a new parent. Iβm still a new parent. But anyways, I know part of the Colgate campaign is sort of about building resiliency and positivity in our kids but Iβm {inaudible}. And for moms this is a conversation where we are constantly talking about in the media and news but, when youβre having a bad day for yourself, like how do you get yourself out of it or do you not? What do you do when you are just not feeling like being a mom today or just dealing with some really heavy stuff?
Cobie Smulders:
Yeah, I mean, listen – I am only grateful for the mom role because I think the mom role forces you on those bad days to be like βsomebodyβs gonna make breakfast todayβ so βI gotta get them to schoolβ and so on a personal level itβs sort of forced me to focus, right? And to prioritize. I think, itβs, you know what? I think itβs okay to wallow in it when bad stuff happens. I mean you canβt have the good without the bad, so Iβm always sort of this is a bad day and thatβs just letβs acknowledge that and it will pass. I think thatβs also the sort of the mantra, right? This is not gonna last forever. This is not gonna last forever. And so itβs – I donβt have a problem sitting in bad things. Iβm sort of a believer in like the- let’s acknowledge that this is a bad moment and then we can kind of move forward from it and learn from it, too, right? Like youβre just trying to be like, βHow do we get out of this?β, βHow do we just bounce right back?β. Itβs like, Well, we should also just acknowledge this and soak it in and see what that actually feels like.
Bethany Braun-Silva:
Yeah, and you know, some of the things I like to ask moms especially – what do you hope – and itβs hard to pin down one thing – but what are you really hoping yourβ¦ like we talk about key takeaways and things like that. But what do you hope you really are passing down to your kids right now? If they were asked what is the one thing youβve learned from your mother. What do you hope that they would say?
Cobie Smulders:
Oh Lord. What do I hope they would say?
Bethany Braun-Silva:
You know, itβs interesting, too, because we donβt always give ourselves like a lot of the credit so {inaudible} turning it on you to sort of say {inaudible}
Cobie Smulders:
Iβm 100% Canadian so like I canβt even take compliments about anything. So itβs hard for me to be like – Iβm great at this. I think itβs like – Iβve had experiences – that I had to deal with, very intense, like when I was 25 years old. Sort of, are we continuing on with life? Or is it this kind of moment? And I think because of that I have really tried to soak it all in. Again, going back to being present within moments. And also just like having fun. You know, I think that, this day and age, thereβs a lot of pressure on all of us, right? Thereβs a lot of pressure on all of us, but I think especially on kids, to succeed, to carve their own path and I certainly felt that when I was younger but you have to enjoy this life because we only get one. So Iβm hoping thatβs gonna {inaudible} take that away but I hope that they can kind of take something positivity in like moving forward through life with a smile. And be a good – thatβs it! I just thought it, but I just got it– Be a good human. Like be a decent, kind, empathetic human. That goes above all else. Like just be nice, donβt be a jerk. Do not be jerk. You know, itβs a no-jerk policy. Thatβs number one. Also like have a great time, right?
Bethany Braun-Silva:
Yeah.
Cobie Smulders:
Be a good, decent human and help others.
Bethany Braun-Silva:
Love it. Iβm gonna put it on a pillow or something. Weβll get that in for you later.
Cobie Smulders:
Letβs embroider, letβs start a new hobby.
Bethany Braun-Silva:
Yeah! Alright, wrapping up here but really quick. I know a lot of your How I Met Your Mother cast mates are also parents. I have envisioned you guys like on this crazy group chat, sharing like parenting tips and all. Do you get any kind of like parenting advice or tips?
Cobie Smulders:
Yeah. Honestly, I came into the parenting game in I think, Neil hadnβt had his twins yet but was in that space coz I was younger than everybody and I sort of had my first child young. But Ali had had her daughter maybe a month or two before me so it was really helpful to sort of feel like βokay, so thatβs comingβ and it was really cool to both be on the show and sort of supporting each other through our pregnancies. And then still to this day, I mean Neil is unfortunately in New York so on another coast but Ali is here and we attend volleyball games together and all sorts of things so weβre very supportive to each other in that.
Bethany Braun-Silva:
I love to hear that. I love to hear that. Final question, my son is a huge, huge Marvel fan.
Cobie Smulders:
Who isnβt, Bethany? Who isnβt?
Bethany Braun-Silva:
I tell you, I mean like Guardians of the Galaxy – all of them. And so heβs really excited about me talking to you. But I have to also ask, any upcoming projects in the Marvel universe? Anything like that?
Cobie Smulders:
Yeah, Iβm gonna be in a series called Secret Invasion. That will be out on Disney Plus. I donβt know when but Comic-Con is this coming weekend so heβs gonna get like a hefty dose of information. So theyβll probably be announcing when things are airing but Iβll be in that and I think it comes out later this year (inaudible). But itβs a Samuel Jackson show and itβs really cool.
Bethany Braun-Silva:
Awesome. I canβt wait! If you have any information, you can share it now, about Colgate.
Cobie Smulders:
(inaudible)I just wanna make sure that people take advantage of City Yearβs organization for their kids and if they donβt have this program in their school, they should look into it.
Bethany Braun-Silva:
Great. Awesome, Iβll share all that information when we share this video.
Cobie Smulders:
Awesome, so thank you for that.
Bethany Braun-Silva:
So Cobie, thank you so much. This is such a thrill.
Cobie Smulders:
Happy to talk with you. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Bethany Braun-Silva:
Alright. Really appreciate it, thank you!
Cobie Smulders:
Take care. Bye!
Listen to this Episode as a Podcast:
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