Birds and the Bees Talk | Tough Talk Time for Boy Moms!
Before becoming a parent, you might expect the actual birthing and the newborn stage to be the most challenging part of parenthood. After all, what can be worse than the sleepless nights, endless crying, and numerous diaper changes? The answer… Plenty of things! However much we undoubtedly love our children, parenthood is not easy. You are continuously forced to learn more, stretch the limits of your patience, and find new ways to raise your offspring as they go through different stages. There will be many uncomfortable discussions and curveballs along the way. And the dreaded “birds and the bees talk” is high on the list!
One of the most awkward discussions that no parent wants to have, but unfortunately can’t be avoided, is the conversation about the birds and the bees. There will come the point in a child’s life where they will no longer believe they arrived as a bundle delivered on the doorstep by a stork, and you will need to answer their questions. No matter how uncomfortable it may be, “the talk” should come from you rather than from somewhere else. This way, you can ensure they have all the correct information, and it can also help to hopefully prevent any underage pregnancies or accidents as they get older. If you are looking to talk to your son about the birds and bees, here are a few useful tips that should help make it that bit easier.
DON’T Call it “The Birds and the Bees”
Who came up with that antiquated phrase for talking to kids about sex? If your kid knows what that phrase means, they’ll undoubtedly label it “cringe.” (That’s one of their slang words, you know.)
DO Teach them about ACTUAL Birds and Bees
Explaining human reproduction and sexual relations is a whole lot easier if your kid has been learning about animal and plant life all along. Tell them how seeds are fertilized. Talk about the cycle of life. If at all possible, have your child watch an animal being born. Normalize that living things make other living things and they usually need a partner to do it.
Little by Little
From the start, you should never use the “stork” myth with kids. It just causes more trouble than it’s worth. When a toddler sees a pregnant woman and asks about her belly, explain that there’s a baby in there. At first, that’s enough. The child may not ask HOW it got there for years. And that’s when you deal with the next question.
Take the questions as they come, little by little. Explain, in an age-appropriate way, the answer to their question ONLY. This was the “birds and bees talk” is not a huge event. In fact, I can’t ever remember my parents having that talk with me because they used this method of little bits of information at age-appropriate times.
Acknowledge The Awkwardness
If you’ve waited too long to have it, the conversation that may not be pleasant, and there will be moments of awkwardness (if not the whole chat!) Openly acknowledge this before you start to talk. You can both appreciate the fact that while it’s a conversation that’s needed, there are probably a thousand other things your son would prefer to be discussing with his MOM!
Use All The Proper Names
It’s important whenever you have “the talk” that you teach kids the proper names of the body’s anatomy. Nicknames may be cute when toddlers say them, but you are doing your child a disservice if you don’t teach them the correct names.
For one thing, it’s a matter of safety. Psychology professor Sandy K. Wurtele explains:
“Without proper terminology, children have a very hard time telling someone about inappropriate touching,” Dr. Wurtele said. “If a child says someone touched her cookie, it would be very difficult for a listener to know.” -NY Times
Allow Them To Ask Questions
Be open and allow your son to ask any questions he might have. Enabling him to ask anything about it will ensure he understands and won’t feel stupid coming to you for advice or questions about any of it in the future. The more informative and approachable you can be, the better.
These are just a few top tips about talking to your son about the birds and the bees that should make it that bit easier. Being open and communicative will make them feel they can always come to you with tough subjects and will be beneficial for your relationship in the long term. Be open and understanding, informative and non-condescending.
Have you and your son had the birds and the bees talk? Let us know of any tips in the comments below!