A Married Mom’s Message to Single Moms | Being a Single Mom is Hard
No matter what you think, being a married mom is nothing like being a single mom. I’m married with two kids and a husband who travels most of the time. I’ve heard other married women in my situation say they feel, “just like a single mom.” And while I get feeling like you are doing it all on your own, feeling like you are doing it on your own is not the same as actually doing it on your own. Being a single mom is hard. Duh.
Being a married mom is nothing like being a single mom. Feeling like you're alone isn't the same as doing it alone.Click To TweetWhen my husband is out of town (and even sometimes when he is home), I’m always on. There’s no “Go ask your dad” or “Can you watch the kids while I take a shower?” My only alone time is when they are asleep, if I’m lucky enough for both of them to be asleep at once. And that’s when I’m supposed to sleep. But instead, I spend time working, paying bills, or you know, showering. ( A lot of this could explain my #SlackerMom tendencies…)
Married Mom’s Message to Single Moms | Being a Single Mom is Hard
And it falls on me to book doctors’ appointments, attend teacher conferences, shuttle kids around, and so on and so on. And yes, it’s tough and not exactly what I had in mind when we decided to have kids. But in no way does that make me like a single mom.
Because even if my husband is oceans away, (this month he’s in Tokyo, Budapest, and a bunch of places I don’t even keep up with) I still have a husband and my kids still have a dad. There is someone else out there in the world who is responsible for these kids. He’s off making a living to support us, but is physically there when it really matters. He shares the emotional load of parenting. He shares the worries about whether our son needs adenoid surgery, the driveway needs resurfacing, or our daughter will stop biting. And it’s the emotional load of parenting that I find so very exhausting.
I know I’m very lucky that is off working to support our family. I work too, but just a bit from home. My income could never support our family. If somehow he was out of the picture, our home life would change dramatically. I’ve got mad respect for single moms who support their kids in every way, including financially. (Check out this episode of our web series Slummy Mummy inspired by this situation.)
So yeah, I’m losing my f#cking mind over here while my husband is gone. But I know I’m not alone. So I made this little video as a message from a married mom to single moms.
I see you. We see you. And girl, you are rockin’ it!
*Curious as to what my word-traveling husband does? Check out his band, The Hot Sardines. He’s the bandleader and piano player. And his partner, the front-woman, Elizabeth, is one of the baddest badass mamas I know!
We here at MomCave would LOVE to hear your stories as a single mom or a married mom who often feels like she is parenting alone. Get in touch or comment below!
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10:58 pm
This video really touched me … I’m going to be a single parent soon, didn’t think I would be, but my cheating husband made that decision for me. Thank you for your understanding & we should all support each other as mothers to our children – the future. ?
7:15 am
Thank you so much for your comment. I’m so sorry about your husband. I’ll be pulling for you. You can do this!!
8:23 am
Thank you! I have been a single Mom for 11 years to a fantastic boy. I have had my son 100% of the time, 365 days a year, for the last 11 years. I have loved every minute. It hasn’t always been easy, there have been, hospital stays, school meetings, joys and sorrows, fear of failure, and those 2 am moments when you are down on your knees not even able to breathe because you are overwhelmed and then you go look at that beautiful little person that you helped create and you keep going. In the morning you know they are going to wake up and need your love and guidance so you keep putting one foot in front of the other. His father is only now showing interest and I have realized the hardest part in it all is not having someone to share with, the good, the bad, the funny, the exciting. Things like his first competition or when he fell asleep half under his bed because he wanted to be with our kitties. Not that i dont have a gtaet aupport system, but no one gets that same feeling you have unless you are their parent. So I just wanted to say Thank you.
8:45 am
Thank you!! Boy, did I need this today. The universe must have known I was feeling defeated. I appreciate this video very much! The “comparison” game when you’re a single mom can be a very slippery slope. So thanks again for the reminder that it isn’t easy for any of us. I wish I could come hang out and be a mess with you!
1:41 am
Love this and needed it! Single mom of 2 boys, since my bow 13 year old was 2! It’s 100% me all the time – and I wouldn’t change it. Though it’s far from easy! I’m a teacher too, so that adds to the crazy fun life we live. You’re Post was well needed today. Had major mom fail and wasn’t there for my kid when he needed me. Thank goodness he’s ok. Parenting is tough – but not having someone to help carry any of the burden is hard and wearing. But my kids and I have a special bond, and I’m eternally grateful for that. ❤️