Becoming an Unintentional Attachment Parent | Guest Post
(This is a guest post by We’re Parents?!?! Larisha. The views contained within this post are her own.)
So many times you hear parents say, “If you would have told me, I’d be doing X, Y, Z five years ago, I would laugh at you.” Well, if you would have told me three years ago, that I was going to be by all definition, an attachment parent, I would laugh at you. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know I would do some aspects of attachment parenting, such as breastfeeding, but that’s pretty much where it ended. In fact, even when I found out I was pregnant, I was only committed to breastfeeding for the first six weeks. I knew I wanted to get to that point, but other than that, there was no attachment anything.
The crazy thing is, to me, in the beginning of my pregnancy, I did what most “mainstream” parents do. I read “What to Expect When Expecting”, I asked friends and family for advice, I set up a crib (that has never been used), I even saved the formula samples from the overly pushy mailings “just in case”.
So what happened?
Luckily, I was posting a question about looking for some local moms activities once I had our daughter, and someone asked if I wanted to be added to some local groups. I said sure. These groups were about babywearing, cloth diapering, and breastfeeding. One group, in particular, was extremely eye opening to me. They talked about co-sleeping, extended rear facing car seats, breastfeeding beyond a year, not sleep training your children, and even not vaccinating. It was this group that made me, and subsequently Andrew, really consider the type of parents that we wanted to be. I’m convinced if it wasn’t for this one mom reaching out and helping me, that we would be in a very different situation than we are today.
What Unintentional Attachment Parent Means to Us
I’ve learned one thing from all of this– Continue to help first-time and new moms by providing them with resources that help them make the right decisions for their families. It takes a village to raise a family right? I constantly post about our experiences and so many times people have thanked me for doing so and opening their eyes to a different type of parenting. A type of parenting, that works for our family, and I’m so luckily to have found.
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I had a friend tell me just the other week (I’m 8 mntohs pregnant now) that I looked really good for being pregnant and that all my weight gain was obviously in my belly because my butt and legs weren’t big and my face wasn’t fat but that belly, whew! I guess she had good intentions and was trying to tell me I looked good but I’m soooooo self conscious about the way my body looks right now so that didn’t really help much.