Karen Finally Got Some Alone Time… and Missed her Son
I finally got some much-longed for alone time. But it didn’t turn out how I expected.
“Ok buddy, I’ll see you Friday okay? Love you!”
My son barely took his eyes off the tablet screen to say good bye to me. Apparently watching a jet-plane take off is far more interesting than saying goodbye to your mother when you’re three-years- old. I mean, let’s face it, he doesn’t completely understand what I’m talking about and he has minimal concept of time at his age.
However, I was a bit heart broken. I wanted a huge hug that involved him wrapping his small arms around me and squeezing as hard as he could. I wanted to feel his hands on my face as he squished my cheeks and gave me a kiss. But I didn’t get it and there was no point forcing him.
So, I left with a barely audible goodbye from him and I was off.
Day care is closed this week and since my husband and I both work outside of the house, we were stuck. When daycare was closed over the summer, we faced no such predicament
because I was home. However, now that the school year is back up, I’m back at work. Because I get paid hourly, it’s hard to take one day off – let alone five – because if I don’t work, I don’t get paid.
I voiced my dilemma to my mother and my aunt and they came back letting me know we could relax; that they would take the boy for the week. My aunt is retired and while my mom works, she said she’ll take off a few days to help me out. I wanted to make this as easy as possible for her.
The plan was set and everyone was good to go. My husband and I discussed all the things we wanted to get done over the week and we felt less stressed out. We laugh about how we can do things at our own pace, not having to give in to the dictator who runs our lives.
But this morning I miss him. And I’m missing him more as the day goes by knowing that I won’t see him later tonight, or even tomorrow. It will be another five days until I see him.
I miss his voice. I miss his cuddles. I miss him.
I spend so much time in my head waiting for the next time I can get a break and focus on me. Just a little alone time. Yet here I am, getting this so-called needed break and I’m still not satisfied. But that’s what parenting is all about, isn’t it? Wanting time for yourself while missing your kids when they’re gone? Never being fully satisfied when you’re alone or when you’re with your kids? Always wanting the other thing?
My goodness being a parent is exhausting! The kid really has his fingers dug deep into my heart.
As tiring as it is, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Welcome to parenthood.
Latest posts by Karen Szabo (see all)
- Karen Finally Got Some Alone Time… and Missed her Son - November 13, 2017
- Benefits of Daycare… for this MOM! Guest Post. - October 2, 2017