All The Ways I’m Coming Unraveled | Amber Gwin | MomCave LIVE

Ladies and gentlemen, and all those who are perpetually sleep-deprived from parenting, welcome to the comedic circus that is MomCave LIVE! Today, we’re diving headfirst into the tangled web of chaos and confusion known as “Amber Unraveled.” Yes, folks, we’re about to unravel the unraveler herself, the queen of calamity, the sultan of silliness, the one, the only… Amber Gwin! So grab your coffee, put on your stretchiest pants (because, let’s face it, we’re all still in pajamas), and get ready to laugh until your abs ache and your kids question your sanity. Let the unraveling begin!

Unraveled at the Start

Jen: Welcome to MomCave LIVE where we may have lost our minds, but we haven’t lost our sense of humor. We are, though, becoming unraveled. And that’s my guest tonight. Meet Amber Unraveled.

Amber Gwin: Hello, hello. Hello.

Jen: Hello. Oh my gosh. So there’s this whole, hot mess mom thing, right? I don’t remember when it started, but the whole hot mess mom thing became a thing.

Amber Gwin: Yes, it’s a total thing. And I think it’s okay to admit that you know, you’re not always together.

Jen: Not even mostly.

Amber Gwin: 60/40? Or like 30?

Jen: I would die for 60/40.

Amber Gwin: Well, that’s true.

Jen: I come together like 20% of the time if that.

Unraveled Mathing

Amber Gwin: I’m trying to do the percentages in my head, and the math is not mathing.

Jen: It has to add up to 100.

Amber Gwin: That’s still not 100. I’m trying to add, it’s not happening.

Jen: No, it’s not happening.

Amber Gwin: I can’t even do the addition right now. Percentages.

Jen: No problem.

Amber Gwin: That explains everything.

Hot Frazzled Messes

Jen: So I thought, you know since that is in your screen name, and since we are basically totally frazzled hot messes and unraveled, kind of talk about that, and what, why, and how, and people can join in and comment and talk with us. How did you pick the screen name Amber Unraveled, by the way?

Amber Gwin: Oh my gosh, so years and years and years and years ago, I’m totally aging myself. I decided I was going to write a blog about clothes. I was talking to my husband and I was like “find me a good screen name” and he was like,”Amber Unraveled because it’s clothes and you.”

Jen: Behind the Scenes.

Amber Gwin: I’ve changed my area of expertise.

Jen: You birthed some humans and then everything changed.

Everything Became Unraveled

Amber Gwin: Everything literally came unraveled. It was just honestly, the perfect name because it was just trying to get my stuff together all the time. So it’s kind of just stuck, and it was the perfect fit for really anything I did because everything I do is chaotic. So

Jen: I love it. I remember when before I started all of this you know, again, aging many, many years before when people weren’t doing TikTok and being more authentic.

Amber Gwin: Pre-social media era.

Jen: In the beginning, the Pinterest mom beginning when you just felt like crap every time you looked at the internet.

Amber Gwin: Oh my god.

Back in the Day

Jen: I discovered scary mommy. Back when Jill Smokler was a scary mommy and she had her book Scary Mommy and I read that and this is the first time someone has admitted that they are a disaster mess. and that was refreshing.

Amber Gwin: It is. I mean not that I don’t love to scroll socials and see perfectly aesthetic. I mean, everyone likes to look at that. But sometimes I’m I think I’m getting depressed from this. I had to stop reading love novels; because I’m like, “this is not real life, take a step back.

Jen: romance novels are crap.

Amber Gwin: I’m getting a little bit down from reading these. I need to to take a step back.

Snap back to Reality

Jen: It doesn’t make you want to get, you know, want to get lovey with your husband, you’re more or less. Dude, why don’t you rescue me on a horse and give me a castle and do all the things these guys do, man?

Amber Gwin: This is the bar, I gotta lower my bar here. I need to step back in reality.

Jen: That’s the story of my life, let’s just lower the bar everywhere all around.

Amber Gwin: Let’s not have expectations, and then everyone would be a lot happier I feel.

Perfect Day Down the Drain

Jen: I know. So my husband and I were having this talk as we were getting dinner ready a little while ago. Something happened this morning on the news. Then something happened in my family life, both of the things unraveled. It felt like my perfect day because I had planned out, all the things that I had to accomplish today, including working out before I started the workday, making sure the house was nice, and then doing all my work, to make a nice dinner and then talking with you all here on the internet. Just derailed. I was like, just like and it’s I’m like is that like a stereotypical female emotional thing? I don’t want to play into that. But I feel like sometimes that’s how it is

Amber Gwin: Maybe we internalize everything, and that affects the way that we’re able to play out the day when we’re feeling down low and have the gray cloud. Whereas if we’re in the right mood we can hit all the things that we want to hit and check off all our boxes. But it’s hard to stay motivated all the time or wake up all the time. So this world where I feel every time you open social media, it’s bad news, bad news, bad news, bad news, I won’t even open up People Magazine, because, goodness, I open them every time I open them it’s a terrible accident, terrible strategy. horrible news.

Unrealist Magazines Unraveled Fantasies

Jen: Well with the romance novels. I sort of stopped, with any kind of fashion magazine or I remember when InStyle magazine came out, and it made me so angry, and I decided I just called it “Shit I can’t afford.”

Amber Gwin: Oh, my God

Jen: I was like, when they do, they would do in vogue or I don’t know that the ones where it’s the real thing and then the affordable version, but the affordable version was way more than I was willing to spend.

Amber Gwin: It’s still like $200.

Jen: So there was that, and then the whole beauty thing. I just stopped reading this stuff. It’s not helping me at all

Amber Gwin: It’s tough, because I don’t have any fashion sense at all. Instagram wants me to have a fashion sense. So they’re constantly showing me girls with fashion and I’m like, “Oh my gosh, that’s cute.” I’ll go to see where do you get this? Go to that link and look up there. I’m like, “I can’t afford those shoes who can afford those shoes?”

So I’m like and I’m not following that. Unfollow, unfollow, give me some Walmart girls.

Walmart for the Win

Jen: Follow the Walmart girls! Yeah!

Amber Gwin: Walmart has stepped up their game honestly, I’m not gonna lie.

Jen: I know and its certain Walmart’s even more than others, like when you travel if you go to different Walmart.

Amber Gwin: You’re like this is a good Walmart, I love this Walmart. This Walmart is kick-ass! You guys are lucky, right?

Jen: Then you have the bad Walmart’s

Amber Gwin: Yeah, they’re pretty bad.

Unraveled Camping

Jen: We have an RV, which was against my will, kind of, but I grew up camping in an RV and so, never wanted to as an adult. But my husband wanted one. So we got one.

Amber Gwin: That’s what’s called glamping

Jen: It’s not glamorous.

Amber Gwin: That’s glamping. Do you have A/C?

Jen: We do. You’re right. It’s not tent camping, but it still is not glamorous. It’s like a Motel 6 on wheels situation with kids and just chaos, but I digress because what I was thinking of is Walmart. There’s such an RV culture around Walmart. You can get all the stuff there but also, they usually let you pull in and sleep in the parking lot. If you’re just going from one place to the other overnight and you can’t find a campsite or you can’t afford a campsite, which has happened. You can go to Walmart did you know that?

RV in a Walmart Parking Lot

Amber Gwin: I will not lie. I have slept in a Walmart parking lot before in a camper. We did have a camper, you are among friends here. I love camping personally; we were a camping family. We did have a campsite to go to so it was a very short brief stay at the Walmart but we have frequented those vacation Walmarts throughout our vacation and seen people just straight up like “I’m taking the family to Walmart this week, at the beach we are gonna live at the Walmart parking lot.” I don’t know why I didn’t realize they slept there the whole vacay

Cracker Barrel Too

Jen: But people do that and Cracker Barrel lets you do that. Usually, I did Cracker Barrel in Virginia Beach.

Amber Gwin: Really?

Jen: We stayed at the Cracker Barrel and went to the beach and then went to sleep and the Cracker Barrel parking lot and then moved on. We’re both freelance so we have to be frugal sometimes.

Amber Gwin: I get it.

Jen: Sometimes you know, not to make it sound like I’m totally out there.

Parking-Lot-Hopper.com?

Amber Gwin: I’m taking notes, like “Walmart, and Cracker Barrel” What other parking lots can you sleep in, because I’m planning a vacation right now.

Jen: There needs to be a website that tells you that parking lot.

Amber Gwin: I think it’s frowned upon though. I don’t feel they like it because of where we stayed on the Outer Banks. They do have a sign now that says no extended stays.

Fancy Walmart, or Baltimore Walmart?

Jen: Well then, you must be having in a fancy Walmart.

Amber Gwin: It is kind of a nice Walmart. It’s like a super one. Yeah, they might have different rules. The Super ones. The crusty ones you can stay there.

Jen: The last Walmart I stayed in their parking lot was right outside of Baltimore….

Amber Gwin: Oh that’s risky. That’s risky on so many levels

Jen: It was a little risky. But we survived and the best thing is that you get to go in and buy a whole bunch of stuff in Walmart.

Amber Gwin: That’s true.

Jen: All the convenience.

Amber Gwin: That is convenient.

The Windex Scandals

A Bottle of Windex

Jen: I was reading your about me on your blog today because I wanted to know more about you. You have some very interesting things in your bio.

Amber Gwin: Oh my god, I don’t even know what it says anymore.

Jen: Okay, one says your’re obsessed with Windex. Why? Tell me about this.

Amber Gwin: Oh my gosh, I don’t think, you’re not allowed to say that anymore. Windex is canceled? Right?

Jen: It is? I didn’t know, why did they get canceled?

Amber Gwin: I don’t know. Everything is probably toxic. I’m scared to talk about anything anymore because I feel like I did a grocery haul the other day and everyone’s like, “You feed your kids poison.”

I like went back and I was like, this was a healthy one. I’m scared to show what I really get. I do love Windex, it’s my go-to. Isn’t it in a movie where somebody sprays it all over their kids and heals them?

Jen: My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The scene with the dad.

Amber Gwin: I’ve never seen that movie.

Jen: You need to go see that, it’s great and yeah, he puts Windex on pimples, and everything

If it Works it Works

Amber Gwin: It’s probably not good. I would assume that’s probably not good. My husband has deterred me from using Windex on our eating counters because he eats right off the counter. I have moved on to a healthier countertop, but Windex is great. I love it. It gets your glass clean.

Jen: It does

Amber Gwin: Not a lot of glass cleaners are good. There are healthy ones but they don’t get your glass clean. Well everyone’s using the foam ones now.

Brands Unraveled

Jen: I know those. There are certain items in our over 20-year marriage where my husband has been like, “I don’t want you to buy anything except this brand.” With Windows he’s like “It has to be Windex.” It can’t be anything other than the original Windex

Amber Gwin: The blue one

Jen: The others don’t work, right? healthier ones he’s like “They don’t work. I will not I will not use that.”

Amber Gwin: No and the vinegar one just smells really bad. I know people love vinegar, that’s a rough smell.

Another Rabbit Hole

Jen: It is. Interestingly, that’s a whole TikTok rabbit hole, almost the same as you can do with vinegar.

Amber Gwin: Oh man, have you been influenced by those?

Jen: I remember what, about six months ago, I decided to try the apple cider vinegar in the hair.It’s supposed to get rid of build-up, product build-up, and stuff and make your hair so nice and beautiful and wonderful. My daughter, she’s almost nine and I feel like she never rinses her hair enough. She has long hair, and I try to help, whatever and I’ve kind of given up so I feel like her hair is probably pretty built up.

Amber Gwin: That’s a lot of build-up, like “You’re a perfect test subject. Get over here.”

Not the Eyes!

Jen: I do it to myself in the shower first and I like how my hair feels. I did get a little bit in my eye and that stung, but like okay, I think this works great. I bring it up to my kid like “I want to do this your hair. It’s gonna make it so pretty. Are you ready?”
I poured it on her head and it got totally in her eyes, which is torture. It was like waterboarding, vinegar torture. It’s my poor child.

Amber Gwin: I’m sure she was very compliant at that point.

Jen: She was not, she was like an angry cat. She was so mad. she’s like, “Why?!”

Amber Gwin: “You’re so mean, why did you do this to me?” I just wanted your hair clean. I’m sorry,

Jen: Right? Rinse your own darn hair correctly and I wouldn’t be pouring Apple cider vinegar on you

Learning Moments

Amber Gwin: Make it a learning moment. That’s what I like to do in a in a situation like that. Now, if you just rinse your hair more then you will never have to do this again. Spin that bad into something good.

Jen: Yeah, try and make it their fault really.

Amber Gwin: I mean, try to accuse and cause them to feel worse about the situation. That’s the Amber Unraveled way.

Bowling

Jen: That works. That works. Then another interesting little fact, in your bio was that it said you’re a very bad bowler.

Amber Gwin: Oh, yeah. Wow, that’s funny. I wrote that because I still suck at bowling and I wrote that probably 10 years ago, I’ve not improved in my bowling skills. And we’ve been quite frequently. My kids love bowling. I did have one session where I was killing it. I was doing so well. Until I realized I had the bumper things on where you hit those bumpers. So my confidence went back down. I’m not good at sports in general.

Jen: I feel we have so much in common. This is true of me too. My mom is an excellent bowler. My grandfather was on a league and blah blah, blah and so it’s a big thing to go bowling as a family. Yeah, I’m like humble and I suck so much.

Amber Gwin: They all make fun of me. It’s like they go for the bowling and to roast me so yeah, it’s a family affair. It’s a good experience for everyone else in my family and then sometimes I cry.

Jen: Oh don’t cry don’t give them that satisfaction.

Amber Gwin: Don’t give them that pleasure.

Jen: Definitely not.

Castor Oil Calamedy

Amber Gwin: I got influenced by that. Speaking of that, being a sucker I pretty much I got influenced by those, what that oil, that oil thats supposed to cure everything

Jen: Oh castor oil, I’ve made a couple of videos about the castor oil rabbit hole.

Amber Gwin: It’s not doing anything I’ve bought two bottles because I was like “I’m gonna get rid of all my scars. My dog has a tumor, I’m gonna get rid of that. I’m gonna like fix my skin.”
It hasn’t done shit. I’ve used an entire bottle and I still don’t remember who that lady was who was like supposedly, healing peoples like cancer with it.

Jen: That Barbara is it the Barbara lady?

Amber Gwin: Yes! I believed her and she had a cool accent. So I watched a lot of her videos, and I don’t know. I read people’s comments and they were like “it’s worked for me. It’s done this, it’s done that”, I don’t feel like my skin is any plumper. I still have all my scars and my dog still has a tumor.

Jen: So it didn’t do it. Don’t get that in your eye. I don’t know.

Amber Gwin: That would probably burn

Promises Everything, Does Nothing, Lies Unraveled

Jen: Does anybody have a good castor oil story?

Amber Gwin: A success story because I had like patches. I got all the patches. I went hog wild.

Jen: I just got a bottle of it.

Amber Gwin: Then I was like, “this is going to cure every trauma I’ve had in my entire life”, this is going to be this is gonna be the ticket

Jen: Medicinal in every way.

Amber Gwin: Yeah, it was “like bathe in it, pour it in your belly button and it’s gonna make you go to the bathroom.” Dude, I looked like a, I don’t know what, I was oil. Back in the day where you go on the beach and you leave with your oil, your baby oil.

Jen: We were so stupid. I used to do that all the time, I know. A tanning beds. Did you ever do tanning beds?

Tanning Unraveled & The Pee Bandit

Amber Gwin: I was a district manager of many a tanning salon in my day

Jen: You were a cancer supplier?

Amber Gwin: I was, you know, my greatest tanning salon story is that we had a culprit. And apparently this is a thing that happens when people go into any bed and this culprit. We never identified the suspect. He or she would come regularly and pee and all the trash cans in the tanning bed rooms and

Jen: Why?

Amber Gwin:I don’t know. I guess the UV light makes you have to go to the bathroom. I guess they didn’t want to go to the restroom and they would just that’s just gonna trash can. It’s very bizarre.

Jen: You should always pee before you go on a tanning bed. But don’t go in a tanning bed.

At Least it Wasn’t in the Bed

Amber Gwin: I don’t know at least you did do it in the tanning bed. It was the bag.

Jen: That’s what I thought you said.

Amber Gwin: Oh my god. Well, so there was puddles of sweat often in those beds.

Jen: Yeah, that could get kind of gross. Yeah. So I’m glad we don’t do those anymore.

Amber Gwin: Yeah. So now I’m just orange all the time from self tanner.

Jen: Oh, speaking of things that I can’t do right, because self tanner, I’ve never gotten that right, ever. It looks horrible on me.

Amber Gwin:Well, I have a professional background in tanning application. So I still have orange hands.

Tutorials and Accidental Nudity

Jen: Yeah, maybe you need to do a tutorial for us at some point. Like can get a whole video tutorial about tanning?

Amber Gwin: I have made some tutorials in the past and I will I literally would be shaking, I am going to somehow expose myself even though I’m the one filming, I’m the one editing it doesn’t matter. Somehow it’s going to be a reflection of my ass in the window or something. Then it’s going to be on the internet for the world to see. It’s maybe one of my top five fears, maybe top 10, really critical things.

Jen: I’ve had those fears when I you know, when you make so many videos like we do. I mean, I don’t know hundreds and hundreds of videos over the years. Then there’s sometimes like, we make videos for for brands and products, right that are paying us and they want certain things and I’ve had a few where you’re supposed to be in the towel, like you just got out of the shower. So and one more I was in, in the bathtub, it was supposed to be in the bubble bath. I was so afraid, somehow, even though it wasn’t live, even though I was gonna edit it, I was going to be naked on camera and someone would see it somewhere. So yeah,

Amber Gwin: It happens somehow. It’s all like autopilot, right? You’re filming or you’re editing or even when I’m doing clothes changing. I walk to the side, change your outfit walk back on even though I’m going to edit it.

How it Happens

Jen: Or one of your kids takes your phone and then they’re talking showing their friends the pictures and there’s mom naked, we don’t want that.

Amber Gwin: I think that that was a huge, the COVID phenomenon of kids on virtual schools. I heard so many stories of naked parents in the background.

Jen: That’s hilarious, so some things came out of COVID and that’s one of them. The naked parents in the background stories.

Amber Gwin: The weather people in their underwear, then I know the guy doing the news and their kids running in on live TV. I don’t know, that kind of stuff cracks me up, I think it’s funny.

Jen: I love it so much and I love talking to you thank you for being here and talking to me and everyone else about your unraveledness we are continue to celebrate that go find Amber Unraveled everywhere she’s on all of the platforms at Amber Unraveled immediately should send her a tutorial on castor oil.

Amber Gwin: Oh yes, I will take all the castor oils I can get, tutorials not castor oils, tutorials, tutorials, tutorials.

Jen: Thanks so much Amber Unraveled.

Amber Gwin: Thank you for having me. This was so fun. Thank you.

Jen: Oh, we’ll do it again.

Where to Find Amber Unraveled:
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TikTok
Twitter/X
Pinterest
Youtube
Website/ Blog
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Listen to this episode about All The Ways I’m Coming Unraveled | Amber Gwin | MomCave LIVE as a podcast here:

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