11 Things That Will NOT Happen the Way You Planned During Pregnancy, Birth, and the Early Years
♦Your birth plan! Burn that sucker now. There’s a VERY strong possibility that your birth will go NOTHING like you planned, so just make peace with it.
♦That you will be able to breastfeed like a wet nurse. Sure, millions of women master the art of breasting feeding their young, but there is a portion of the population that breastfeeding doesn’t work for, that’s why there were wet nurses in the first place.
♦That you will WANT to have sex with your partner exactly like you did before baby. You have a better chance of wanting to kill him ine first weeks. Sexy-time returns later.
♦That your partner to do just as much for the baby as you do. No matter how egalitarian we try to be, mama seems to be the “default parent” in those early years.
♦That are will be in CONTROL and in CHARGE of your family unit. Once baby arrives you are NO LONGER in charge, and any ILLUSIONS you have a such a thing will be shattered time and time again.
♦That you will enjoy EVERY moment of that first year. Ha! You’ll be lucky if you get to sleep at all that first year. And it goes so fast, you won’t know what hit you.
♦That you know better than your mother. Enough said.
♦That those cute 0 to 3 month outfits you got at your shower will be anything more than dust collectors in your baby’s closet.
♦That your body will bounce back in 3 to 6 weeks just like your favorite celebrity’s did.
♦That you will NEVER be that mom at the store in sweats and no makeup.
♦That motherhood isn’t THAT hard. Let’s be clear: It’s the hardest thing you will EVER do, but it is pretty amazing.
Top 11 Things That WON’t Happen During Pregnancy & Birth
This video was produced as part of YouTube and Whohaha’s Women in Comedy Program. See the whole video here.