Mothering Baby Jesus | New Video | MomCaveTV.com

Mothering Jesus

We all commiserate about how difficult motherhood is for us. But do you know who really had it hard? Mary. Yes, THAT Mary. Mary Mother of God Mary.

And I don’t mean the obvious like having to convince your fiance (whom you’ve never had sex with) that you are pregnant with the child of GOD or knowing in advance that your son is destined to die in a brutal manner in order to save the mankind.

No, I mean the minutia of little everyday things. Like sleep training. Imagine sleep training Jesus. “Yes I know you are the Almighty and all, but no matter how much you scream you are NOT getting out of this crib!” (Or should I say manger?)

Or mealtimes. “Baby Jesus, you have to eat all of your peas. Well, if you didn’t like them, you shouldn’t have created them!”

[bctt tweet=”“Baby Jesus, eat all of your peas. Well, if you didn’t like them, you shouldn’t have created them!” ” username=”MomCaveTV”]

And that irritating stage where your toddler says “Mom. Mommy. Mom!” every .7 seconds. He is just saying his rosary. So you can’t really get angry at him.

At the pool: “Yes, I know you think you can walk on water but you have to wear water wings in the pool.”

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And Jesus as a teenager. That’s a whole new challenge. “I don’t care if you created heaven and earth. Your curfew is still 11 o’clock!” and “Just because you can change water into wine doesn’t mean you’re allowed to drink it before age 21.”

When you want to deflect a request, you can’t really tell Jesus to “Go ask your father.” Because if you believe in the trinity, that’s like him asking himself. And you already know he’ll tell himself yes.

Can you imagine coming home to an empty house and finding a note that says, “Gone into the wilderness for 40 days to be tempted by Satan. Don’t worry.”?

Of course, being the mother of God would have some perks. Like when you forget to go to the grocery store and he makes many loaves and fishes out of one box of mac & cheese.

[bctt tweet=”Being the mother of God has some perks. When you’re low on groceries and he makes many loaves and fishes out of one box of mac & cheese.” username=”MomCaveTV”]

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Jen (169 Posts)

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo is the creator/writer/and producer of Mom Cave TV, an online network of comedy shows for moms including Slummy Mummy, Double Leche, Blabbermom, and MomCave LIVE. She's a working actress in NYC who has appeared in films, commercials, and some very off-off Broadway plays. When she’s not writing about the funny side of being a mom (for blogs like Scary Mommy and Mamalode) Jennifer can be found eating Reese’s Cups while furiously bidding on vintage clothing on eBay. She lives with her husband, Evan, bandleader of The Hot Sardines and two spirited children.


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